Moving to a new house can be exciting, but for a child who has to change schools, that excitement can turn into nervousness. Taking a few steps before and after the move can help ease the jitters of being the “new kid.”
Erin Zubeck’s family recently moved from the Liberty school district to the North Kansas City school district, and her kindergartner, Madison, had to change schools. “We had play dates with neighborhood kids immediately, which helped me as much as her. We got on her school website to learn about school colors, mascot, etc. We then took her shopping to get a few shirts that were close to school colors and—for our fashionista—that was so fun. We also talked to her new principal to set up a tour where she got to meet her new teacher before she started school,” Zubeck said.
Being a positive role model is also important. Whining about the move or sharing bad experiences is not helpful to a child. Beth Dusin, guidance counselor at Hawthorne Elementary in Kearney, says that being positive is key. “Your optimistic attitude will help your student look forward to next year. Take time to learn about the cool stuff the new school offers. Do they have an outdoor classroom? Are there more lunch choices? Play up the positive with your student. Share your stories about making new friends and finding your way,” Dusin said.
For some younger children, books are a great way to ease the mind. Dusin says that books are a great way to talk with kids about something difficult or challenging. “A few that I would recommend are The Invisible String by Patricia Karst, The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric and The Worst Best Friend by Alexis O'Neill, kind of a ‘what not to do’ approach,” Dusin says. Read the book together and talk about the characters. Let the child make the connection to real life when she or he is ready.
Older children can struggle with changing schools as much as younger ones. Kelly Broughton of Kearney recently moved from Ohio, a more than 850-mile move for her high school sons Mitch and Brock. While her sons knew for more than two years that the move was coming, that didn’t make it any easier. “I talked a lot with them about their feelings and let them be angry when needed and yet not wallow in it. I let them call, text and Facebook their friends as often as they wanted,” Broughton says. “Over time, it decreased as they met more and more people. We also opened our home up always to having friends over anytime they asked.”
Another technique Zubeck used was packing stickers in Madi’s lunch. “Until she learned and got comfortable with the lunch line routine, I packed her lunch. I put a note with hearts and her name and several stickers that she could hand out to friends sitting around her. It was sort of a bribe, but I knew that if I could help attract the kids, she would turn them into friends,” Zubeck says. This could be done with candy, stickers or any other special treat.
Broughton says time was important, as was not rushing her sons. “Time was the key. Each took his own amount of time adjusting and neither of them was the same. I had to have patience and understanding—if I were in their shoes, I would have hated it, so I tried to understand that fact and not push too hard too fast,” Broughton says.
Jennifer Higgins is a free-lance writer, mother and teacher from Kearney.