He ran because he could. Off on another adventure, apricot-colored ears flapping wildly in the springtime breeze! With his head bobbing as he ran, he seemed to say, “Hey, Gabe! Follow me! Come on!”
He didn’t know this would be his last run. He wasn’t wise to the ways of traffic. He had been cared for and kept at home. Recently, the invisible fence that was to have kept him close and safe had become little more than a nuisance for Gilligan.
“His fur was so thick that I think the fence wasn’t much of a deterrent to him,” Gabe’s mother, Donna said. “It was like he had a choice. Slight pain, gone in a second…tons of fun running loose…Or, no pain, meander around the yard…”
That day, Gilligan made the choice to bolt through the fence and run.
Gabe didn’t know this would be Gilligan’s last run either. Gilligan had gotten loose before, and his 12-year-old boy had always been successful at rounding him up and getting him home safely. Today was different, however. Today Gilligan was headed in another direction, toward the parkway, where four lanes of traffic zipped by at 35 miles per hour.
“Gilligan, come!” Gabe yelled, trying to get the dog’s attention. “Come now, Gilligan!” he screamed as the dog continued to lope straight ahead, closer and closer to the busy street. Nothing. No turning around, no casual glance over his shoulder. Nothing. Gilligan continued for the road. Oblivious to the whizzing sound the cars made as they passed, he ran straight out into traffic and successfully crossed all four lanes without incident. Almost as if to say, “That was cool!” he turned and crossed back the exact way he had come. Gabe made a leap for him, but Gilligan, still wanting to play, side-stepped Gabe’s arms and darted back across the road for a third time. Gabe watched in horror as his dog ran straight out in front of an on-coming vehicle. The car had no time to brake or swerve, and it struck Gilligan, tossing him up into the air, and onto a neighboring yard.
“No! Gilligan! No!” screamed Gabe, as he ran to where his dog lay. The car came to a frantic stop and the driver jumped out, only to see a boy, crying over his dog on the side of the road. No words to say except those of apology. Of not seeing the dog. Of not being able to stop in time. Gabe understood. In his head, he understood, but his heart was broken. His dog was gone. Right before his eyes.
“Gabe borrowed a passer-by’s cell phone and called home to tell us what had happened, and where he was,” Donna related. “It was incredibly hard to think that he had witnessed the whole thing. Our family was very attached to Gilligan. Being a GoldenDoodle, he was quite large and playful. He was very special to each of us. The unconditional love that he and all pets give makes it very hard when they are gone.”
Donna shared some things her family did in the wake of their loss to help the children deal with their grief and begin to heal.
“Initially we cried together, as a family. We said our good-byes to Gilligan, and then we just spent some time crying. I cried more than the kids, almost to the point of embarrassment. Gilligan was at home with me alone every day and I took care of him. I had become very attached to him.”
Journaling was another tool the family used to help their children process their feelings. “We had previously introduced journaling into our children’s lives and had encouraged them to express their feelings, emotions and things like dreams on paper. This was an incredible help when Gilligan died. Gabe immediately wrote about the incident in his journal, describing his emotions. He also wrote a song that he put to music, dedicated to Gilligan.”
Donna went on to say that they talked openly as a family about their loss.
“My husband discussed the different stages of grief with the kids, so that they would know that sadness and denial and anger were okay, and that they may or may not experience those feelings. He also went straight to our on-line address book and e-mailed a note to all of our friends. Looking back, this was extremely helpful too, because it caused a rally of support and outpouring of love and prayer from friends and family. Time also helped our family begin to heal.”
One area veterinarian said that he is often asked by parents whether or not they should allow their child to be in the room when the decision has been made to euthanize an ill or injured pet.
“That is such a personal choice and one that really falls to the parents to answer. What they need to remember is that the animal is in distress, and that emotions in the family are running high. Usually a child younger than 12 or 13 is not able to process and understand the decision that has been made. They don’t understand that their pet is suffering and that he or she isn’t going to get better.”
There is a pet grief group in the Kansas City area. It is offered the second Wednesday of each month from 6:30 – 8:00 at Rolling Acres Memorial Gardens for Pets. There is no charge for the group and it is open to anyone who is grieving or trying to prepare for the death of a pet (www.VisitRollingAcres.com).
Sandy Brooks is a freelance writer living in Lee’s Summit with her family, which includes one dog (Kahn), two cats (Jillie & Joey), an aquatic frog (Frog Friend), and a guinea pig (Pebbles).