My first child is a boy. And he has pretty much no opinion on his clothing or appearance other than that he prefers to wear athletic pants/shorts to anything with a button and zipper. He's now in Kindergarten and wears uniforms to school so we have no decisions to make in the morning and therefore have had no drama in our lives when it comes to wardrobe.
Enter my four year old daughter, who has recently developed VERY strong opinions about her clothing and hair. All of those adorable outfits I got last year on clearance for her to wear this year? Not happening. She only wears dresses. She only wears dresses that SHE wants to wear, even if they are very similar to the dresses that *I* want her to wear. Her hair needs to be just so...sometimes with pigtails, sometimes with a barrette....never with one of the dozens of cute bows we have that she has worn for years. :( I look at the adorable things that I bought thinking she would love hanging in her closet unworn and it's frustrating.
She is normally really easy going and a delight. She goes with the flow, is wonderful and fun, and is kind and affectionate. Right up until you try to get her to wear pants. Then whoa, nelly...back up. We have had all kinds of struggles over this that end with her in tears and me frustrated to no end. I tried to let her have her way, but I would encourage her to wear the things that *I* wanted to or I would make her wear a certain pair of tights under her dress or a sweater over her dress. And these things...simply unacceptable to her. But I'm the MOM, right? I should be able to make her wear whatever I want!
Well, as I found out recently, no. After a chat with her amazing preschool teacher about this, I have learned that the best thing I can do for her is to let her be herself when it comes to fashion. It seems that what she is going through is totally normal for her age and is just a sign of her growing self-awareness. She needs to be able to make some decisions for herself and express herself the way she wants. Even if that means wearing the same dress twice in one week or a grey long-sleeved shirt underneath a spring sundress. When it comes to fashion...does it REALLY matter what they wear? No. It's an easy thing to give up control over and can make such a big difference for little princesses like my daughter. My only rules right now are that she can't wear dirty clothes and she has to be climate appropriate when we leave the house.
Kids need to have some independence. They need to be themselves! As parents we have the right and the duty to make sure that they are making safe/appropriate decisions, but sometimes we have to just give up our opinions and let them have the final say.
So that's what I'm doing...in case you run into us out and about and wonder why my daughter is wearing a Christmas dress in April.