I'm here to burst a bubble for so many parents that I see.
It's okay, healthy, and GOOD for your kids not to get everything. In fact, I believe that always giving them everything, never allowing them to experience failure or disappointment is more hurtful in the long run.
I'll give you a situation to explain this further. I'm student teaching in 5th grade and needed to come up with a discipline strategy. Since they went to Exchange City not too long ago and learned about money, the students were given a checking account to keep track of behavior, both good and bad, that was indicated by me, the teacher. At the end of 2 weeks, there would be a fun reward for students who had a certain amount of money still left in their checking account. Those who failed to achieve this number (due to their behavior and choices) simply would not receive the fun surprise (this would be during lunch, when all students would be eating already).
When last Thursday arrived, it was time to determine who had hit that number, and who had not. Ironically, 10 students made it, and 11 students did not. The teacher was a bit concerned about how we would "break the news" to those who hadn't made it. Quite frankly, my opinion is that these students didn't earn it. End. Of. Story.
What is their to really think about? If some of them are upset, I think that's actually a good thing! It tells me that maybe they really do care, and that they might think a little bit harder next time about their behavior. This reward (eating outside, getting a special treat during lunch) was available to ALL - EVERY STUDENT could have EARNED this. If they didn't receive it, it's because they didn't earn it. And I don't think I am doing these students any justice by feeling bad because they missed out.
This is what we as adults like to call life. It can be hard, but there's a real life lesson that I think these kids are learning by not getting something, rather than giving it to them or simply being so concerned about how they might respond. Are we too concerned? Too overprotective? So much so that we don't allow our kids to feel, to fail, to take responsibility for themselves?
I'd love to hear your thoughts on both sides!