Ahhhh, it’s the new year. A time for a fresh start, a time when we can dream about doing things differently. It’s no secret that most resolutions aren’t kept, but with a little effort, you can make them stick in your family.
Sharing the resolution-making process with others gives you a much better chance of success. Who better to hold you accountable on a daily basis than your kids when you’ve resolved to eat fewer sweets? What’s more, teaching your kids the art of resolution making—and keeping!—can be a good lesson for them.
“Setting resolutions together as a family is an excellent idea. This is a great way to teach goal-setting and to model making healthy changes in your life, whether it involves changing your eating habits or setting aside 30 minutes for yourself each day,” says Wendy Petricoff, an Overland Park native who is now an independent Love and Logic Parenting expert in Charlotte, NC.
Making Resolutions...
“Choose a resolution for each family member and one as a group. Let kids bring their ideas to the table. Encourage them to come up with something that is attainable,” Petricoff says. “Their buy-in is key. Let kids know what you want to work on, too!”
Sitting down and talking with your kids about what they want to achieve with their resolutions is important, too. Does your son want to learn a new song on his guitar? Suggest a renewed commitment to practicing each day. Be on hand to listen, discuss and provide a little guidance.
Make sure your timing is right. If the beginning of the new year is hectic for your family, find another time to make resolutions. Gina Lobaugh, Leawood mother of two, helps her kids make their resolutions at the beginning of each school year.
“We tell them they can push the reset button and be whoever they want to be. The prior school year is behind them, and it is now time for them to start over,” says Lobaugh.
Finally, enjoy the light-hearted side of resolutions. Consider making a fun family resolution: Learn more about Kansas City through visits to local attractions, or try a new ethnic food each month. Resolutions don’t always have to be about depriving yourselves!
...and Sticking to Them
Follow-up is essential. Add reminders to your calendar—or just make Sunday dinner the set time to review the resolution’s process.
“We usually discuss New Year’s resolutions the week leading up to January 1,” says Joy Ginsburg, Leawood mother of one and senior director of program integration for the American Cancer Society. “Then, we write them down on a little slip of paper (like from a fortune cookie) and revisit them midyear.”
Another benefit to weekly progress reports: You get to celebrate the successes and the failures. Learning that no one can stay on track all the time is an important lesson, especially if you have a perfectionist in the family.
“It's okay to let your kids know that you messed up and that you have a plan to do better next week. That's how kids can learn to be resilient, and learn from their own mistakes,” Petricoff says.
Above all, have a good time. Resolutions are supposed to improve or enhance your life. If the resolution is causing more harm than good, know when to make on-the-fly adjustments or even bail out entirely…you can always resolve to pick better resolutions next year.
Says Ginsburg: “Sometimes it’s more fun breaking the resolutions than keeping them!”
Jane Blumenthal Martin lives in Overland Park with her husband and two children. Read Jane's blog for working parents at www.ArtOfEqualParenting.com.