As the mom of three boys, I can attest that life is never boring. It’s exciting, exhausting, exhilarating and everything in between. And goodness knows, it goes by so fast! Just as my husband and I guard the calendar by keeping standing dates for the two of us, I’ve found it equally important to schedule dates with my boys, an opportunity to make special memories as well as a time for them to be heard while I get to know their hearts more deeply. My boys crave this time as much as I do. And, thankfully, there’s never a shortage of things to do. Our biggest challenge is just finding time to do them all.
Here are some of our favorite mother and son activities, along with some ground rules.
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Ground Rules
With a lot of plates spinning, losing connection is too easy, even when we’re together. Date nights are reserved for building relationship and getting to know your child as an individual. They’re not the time to critique grades or the state of a bedroom. Instead, they’re a perfect time to ask a lot of questions and spend more time listening than talking. Be a student of your child!
Dates are also about intentionality. They don’t need to be grandiose, high stress, expensive or overplanned. They could be as simple as going for a walk on a nearby trail or making a favorite dinner together. But it helps to establish a schedule and then guard that time on the calendar to ensure it happens. Likewise, if time only affords that date night happens while simultaneously doing errands, it’s critical to make sure that conversation or an activity together is not rushed. No child wants to feel like time together is a project to accomplish.
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Read.
Get a list of Caldecott-winning picture books and check them out from the library a little at a time. Aim to read them all together! For bigger kids, read classic books that have been made into movies, such as Charlotte’s Web, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, or The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Upon completion of the book, celebrate by watching the movie version (compare notes to see whether you preferred the book or movie better). Need some direction on great books to read with boys? Check out the Read Aloud Revival website, where you’ll find book lists curated for children of every age and interest.
Grow Green Thumbs.
Take a dirt sample to a local nursery or the Olathe K-State extension office to find out what (if anything) your soil is lacking and beef it up. Plant a fruit or nut tree and enjoy the fruits of your labors in the coming years. Build a butterfly garden, full of things fluttering creatures like best (like zinnias and milkweed). Check out from the library books about raised garden beds or other gardening techniques and choose crops you’d like to grow in the coming year.
Become Nature Enthusiasts.
KC is home to many nature centers and fabulous trails. Print off a list of the area trails in your region and aim to hit them all then rate them. Research local geocaching sites and then choose one for your adventure. Get a pair of binoculars and a bird guide. Listen to bird calls online and try to identify what you see and hear out on the trail. Do the same with plants, trees, flowers and animal tracks. Pitch the tent at a campsite (or your own backyard). Make tin foil dinners and s’mores over an open fire. Use a star gazing app to identify constellations in the sky.
Get Fit.
Establish a workout plan together. Free online programs like Group HIIT can easily be done side by side in the living room. Or simply jog around the local middle school track. Set a goal of running a 5K together or just have fun doing some of your son’s favorite physical activities, be it an evening at the batting cages or shooting hoops on the driveway. Go to a local skatepark with your bikes, scooters or skateboards and learn to catch some air. Want to do something a little out of the box? Put your climbing skills to the test at an area indoor climbing gym or try your hand at ax throwing (for a comprehensive listing, check out KC Parent’s website).
Game On.
Date night is a perfect time for those long strategy games you don’t have time to complete during any other night of the week. Break out Risk, Settlers of Catan or Carcassonne. Challenge each other to a game of chess. Or check out a local board game cafe like Pawns & Pints, where you can discover a new game while indulging in a specialty drink. And don’t forget video games. They may or may not be your jam, but for many boys, playing side by side means more than you’ll ever know.
Chow Time.
Ask any boy and he’ll tell you the way to his heart is his stomach. Deanna Cook’s books, Baking Class and Cooking Class, are fabulous cookbook primers for aspiring young chefs who’d like to whip something up next to Mom. Make your son’s favorite meal together or teach him how to make recipes that have been passed down in your own family from generation to generation. Don’t feel like making a mess in the kitchen? Set a goal to try all of Baskin Robbins’ 31 flavors within the next 31 dates. Hunt down the best Mexican restaurant on Taco Tuesday. Or explore every KC barbecue joint and rate which one has the most boss sauce!
Serve Side by Side.
Nothing builds bonds like working together for a purpose. Serve in a soup kitchen, volunteer at an animal shelter or go on a mission trip together. Even activities as simple as baking cookies for a neighbor, picking up groceries for an elderly family member or building Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes can be incredibly memorable.
Lauren Greenlee loves nothing more than being a boy mom. She writes from her Olathe home.