It's amazing what kids can do when just a few expectations are placed on them. When they know they are being watched!
I could see the fear in their eyes as our family took the table next to theirs. This mature couple had been anticipating a quiet supper out, but they were beginning to doubt how quiet it would be as they sized up our 4-, 6- and 8-year-olds. The three children took their seats on one side of the table while my husband and I dared to sit side by side. After explaining to the 8-year-old that the coasters were not put on the table for playing frisbee and apologizing to the family behind me for the flying coaster, I stated the rules of dining out... loud enough for the couple next to us to know we would not ruin their evening on purpose. "No yelling, fighting, touching of any kind. No burping or other gassy noises, real or pretend. This nice couple next to us wants to have dinner in peace. And Dad and I are going to have a nice conversation. Understood?" Each nodded in turn and went to work on their kid's menu. As I finished I turned to smile at the couple to convey that I was trying to raise children worthy of taking out in public. Oh, don't judge me... you know there are kids that should not be allowed to eat out. The children who think it's acceptable to yell across the table or cry when the chicken strips they ordered arrive and they suddenly want a cheeseburger. The kids who think they should be able to get up from the table and roam the aisles, run around tables or stand on the chairs. You know the kind!
I knew the moment our waiter came to the table that we would have an ally on our side when it came to winning the battle of good behavior. After he congratulated our oldest on the launch of the coaster he suggested, with a wink, that he take one home to toss around outside. Our waiter Jonathan just made some friends! This clever man made the kids top priority, helping Mom and Dad enjoy the meal out. Our evening at the Outback was a hit thanks to Jonathan. He congratulated them with high fives when they presented their free Joey meal tickets for showing respect at their Blue Valley School. Jonathan listened patiently as each of the children placed their own order and was speedy quick when it came time for refills. He even shared some stories about the pins he wore on his shirt, his award for a job well done.
We don't need roaming clowns to get our kids through a meal out, though background music is nice. We don't need video games to entertain the kids while we wait for the food, though we do like the tic tac toe games on the back of the kids’ menu. We just need an attentive staff member that talks with the kids when they take their order and an older couple sitting next to us watching every move we make. It's amazing what kids can do when just a few expectations are placed on them. When they know they are being watched! I'm proud to say that our kids rose to the challenge and received compliments from the retired schoolteacher and her husband as they left, which were better than a free mint or a balloon in my book!
Mindy Muller lives in Overland Park with the man of her dreams, three beautiful children and two fuzzy dogs.