Congratulations on becoming a parent! Whether it’s your first baby or not, bringing a newborn home is always a big deal. This article is going to give you a look at what the first few weeks of caring for a newborn entail, so you can prepare or use as a reference while you’re in the midst of it all.
Feeding
Babies eat every two or so hours, but I was not prepared for just how long it takes a baby to complete a feeding session. Babies are sleepy and sometimes need some urging to wake up and eat so they can grow at a healthy pace. This means that feeding a newborn can take around 45 minutes! So when they need to eat every couple of hours, that doesn’t leave a lot of time for much else during your day. It’s helpful to have a designated spot to feed Baby that has things for you, as well, such as a large water bottle, a snack and maybe book to occupy your time.
As for how to feed your baby, you get to decide which option will be best for you and your newborn. I did breastfeed all three of my babies for about a year each, and it was a wonderful experience even though with two of them things started off a little rocky. I think it may be more mainstream now to hear that breastfeeding isn’t always easy and that if you want to breastfeed you may have to work at it for a while. My first baby was a little early, so I will give her that excuse, but she used a nipple shield for the first month until we figured it out. She also used a syringe finger feeding method for the first few days because that was the only way she would consume any milk. That meant that I would pump and my husband would help feed. She did have a few bottles of breastmilk too while we were both figuring out how to breastfeed, but after a month (which seems like an eternity with a newborn and sleep deprivation) we mastered it and it was one of my favorite times with her. When my second baby was born, I remember crying happy tears when he latched and fed immediately, and we never had any issues. But then my third was more like his sister and needed the nipple shield for a while, too, until he figured things out.
I enjoyed breastfeeding for a number of reasons. It was convenient for me as a stay-at-home-mom—I could nurse wherever and whenever. It also was free, was healthy and made specifically for them. I also loved that bonding time with my babies. However, it was challenging at the beginning, as I mentioned, and I was the only one who could feed my babies—breastfeeding moms are pretty tethered to their baby for better or worse. My husband and the grandparents would rarely be able to feed our babies bottles because they weren’t used to them. Although a bit inconvenient sometimes, this didn’t become a major issue for our family because I was home with them the majority of the time. But when you are away from your baby, you still have to pump to release your milk and keep up your supply. There is also the option to pump your breastmilk but feed only by bottle, something many working moms choose to do. Many even pump during the day and nurse when they’re home.
If formula sounds more appealing or breastfeeding isn’t in the cards for you, you’ll discover the many pros to bottle feeding. Anyone can feed the baby, for one. That means more bonding time with other family members and caregivers and more freedom for you. Your body also returns to you sooner, and you don’t have to worry about pumping to keep up your milk supply.
Sleeping
Newborns actually sleep a lot. I realized this more after my second and third babies came home because, by then, I had other little kids running around and not sleeping as often. There’s the old saying, “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” which can be helpful advice when you’re a new mom and aren’t able to sleep through the night like you once did. But consider, too, the funny memes saying, “Clean when the baby cleans.” After all, when are you supposed to accomplish anything else that needs to be done if you’re always sleeping when the baby sleeps? Sometimes it’s very rewarding to shower, eat, clean or do something else when the baby is napping. Accomplishing some other things can really boost your mood.
As for how your baby should sleep, according to the “1-Week Handout” by Premier Pediatrics, “Recent research indicates that placing your infant on the back decreases the risk of sudden infant death syndrome, so discuss this with your doctor. It is best for infants to sleep on a firm mattress. A pillow should not be used because your infant may not be able to lift his/her head up and out of it, which could result in suffocation. If you go about your daily business as usual, your child will become accustomed to sleeping with household sounds.” This means Baby will get used to sleeping while you vacuum or play with older children.
Now, if you’re bringing home a baby brother or sister, that means though you may need to sleep when the baby sleeps, sometimes that’s a big challenge because you have another child to care for. I remember trying to plan for a nap after welcoming our third baby home. I had prepped my older kids (ages 3 and almost 5 at the time) and gotten us all situated on the couch for them to watch a movie quietly while I tried to nap while the baby was napping. I had my ear plugs and eye mask and was just about to drift off when my husband came up early that day and derailed my whole plan. And when you’re sleep deprived, things like this feel like such a disaster! But once Baby gets on a more regular schedule, it can be done. I felt like such a rock star when I was able to put all three of my kids down for a nap at the same time so I could either catch up on some sleep, get some things checked off my to-do list or just have a moment to myself.
Changing
Babies pee and poop a lot. Like, a lot a lot. That’s why seasoned parents will gift you boxes and boxes of diapers. You will go through them at an alarming rate. One thing to note is that some diapers will be better for your baby than others, so be sure to keep packaging intact on those diaper boxes until you’re sure they will be a good fit for your baby. Some brands of diapers tend to irritate a baby’s sensitive skin more than others, and some seem to prevent leaks better than others depending on your baby and how you change him. Some are just cheaper, and you happen to have a coupon! I also was a brave soul who used cloth diapers some of the time, too. I highly suggest visiting a friend to see what cloth diapering entails in real life before purchasing any. You also could start with a small supply to see whether it’s going to be a workable option for your family life.
Even though I cloth-diapered, I began with disposable diapers for my newborn because brand new babies need so many diaper changes and I couldn’t keep up with cloth. In those early days, many cloth diapers were too big for my small newborns anyway. If you do choose to use cloth diapers, find a support group online to help guide you in all the supplies you will need to succeed.
Also, if you have more than one story in your home, I strongly suggest a second changing station, set up either with a Pack and Play or just a box of supplies on the living room floor, so you can change Baby in a couple different places. This is especially helpful if you’re recovering from a C-section or have other children to keep an eye on. Baby changing supplies include a changing pad and cover, diapers, wipes, a change of clothes (or at least a new onesie), diaper cream, Vaseline, nasal aspirator, baby fingernail clippers and toys to distract older babies.
Bathing
Because newborns sleep a lot, they don’t require frequent bathing. Babies can get by with about three baths a week as long as they are properly cleaned after diaper changes between baths. It’s also important to thoroughly clean their umbilical cord and circumcision (if they had one) sites as well. Your pediatrician will advise you on specifics.
According to MayoClinic.org, “A baby's umbilical cord stump dries out and eventually falls off—usually within one to three weeks after birth. Keep the stump dry. Parents were once instructed to swab the stump with rubbing alcohol after every diaper change. Researchers now say this might kill bacteria that can help the cord dry and separate. Instead, expose the stump to air to help dry out the base. Keep the front of your baby’s diaper folded down to avoid covering the stump. Stick with sponge baths. While there’s no harm in getting the stump wet, sponge baths might make it easier to keep the stump dry. Let the stump fall off on its own. Resist the temptation to pull off the stump yourself.”
As far as a circumcision site, it’s also important to keep the area clean and dry to avoid infection, but your doctor will instruct and give you handouts on proper care, depending on which type of procedure was done. Just more things to think of when you’re sleep deprived and bathing your baby!
Bath time can be a great way to start introducing a bedtime routine for both you and your baby, even if newborns do keep their own unique schedule for the first few weeks. It signals the end of the day, and even if you aren’t bathing Baby every day, a bedtime routine can be a time to moisturize the baby each night and get her changed into pajamas to begin the nighttime shift.
Crying
Newborns communicate their needs through crying. And generally anticipating and checking that their needs are met will help ease most crying. Are they hungry? Do they need a diaper change? Are they cold or hot? Are they uncomfortable? Sometimes, though, colic is to blame. According to HopkinsMedicine.org, “Colic is when a healthy baby cries for a very long time, for no obvious reason. It is most common during the first 6 weeks of life. It usually goes away on its own by age 3 to 4 months. Up to 1 in 4 newborn babies may have it.” As far as figuring out whether your baby’s crying is considered colicky, MayoClinic.org says, “The range for what’s considered typical crying is difficult to pin down. In general, colic is defined as crying for three or more hours a day, three or more days a week, for three or more weeks.” If you suspect your baby has colic, call your pediatrician for tips and be sure to have the support you need to safely care for your infant during this time.
I know this sounds like a lot, but trust your new parent gut, do the best you can, and seek help when you need to. There are many support groups out there just to help you succeed on your new parent journey. Welcome to the club and enjoy!
Stephanie Loux is the mother of Layla, 12, Mason, 10, and Slade, 7, and even though the newborn days are behind her and she knows how much of a bootcamp it really was, she wishes to hop back in time for a little reminder of how sweet a time it was.