So recently, I realized that I just was feeling fatigued. I just couldn't keep up with anything anymore. Sure, it has been hot. The kids are home and getting cabin fever and it is hot. Just plain hot. However, it was more than that. I could just tell.
So, I made the appointment, spent the $20 co-pay and found out it was nothing serious (thankfully). Then, I kicked myself for spending that $20. Then, I took the other foot and kicked myself for kicking myself, for spending money on me! Why is it, that as moms, we always spend on everyone in our family, but take care of ourselves last? Surely, I am not the only one.
As much as I do hate spending money on myself, it made me realize that it was important that I do once in a while. I shouldn't feel guilty forking over the money to go to the doctor or getting my eyes checked. I deserve to schedule that mani or pedi. Heck, even that new pair of shoes calling my name is OK!
I then began to recall the last time I went shopping and spent money on myself. You know, those times when you actually look thorugh the racks and try on the clothes (without someone nagging that they need to go potty for the 10th time). I found myself smiling. Genuinely smiling. I felt myself relax. I found ME again. Not the me that is the wife, mom, referee, maid or servant. Just me. Just Tracie. Somehow, she got a little lost in the shuffle. I realized that it was because I, for once, was focused on myself.
It wasn't about the clothes or the new shoes (of course, those always can help). It was more the fact that I had taken time out for myself. It also reminded me that it was OK to actually spoil myself once in a while. I think that we all have to do this once in a while. Take $20 and do something for YOU! We all work hard and deserve it. But more importantly - deserve it guilt free. Of course, everyone says money can't buy happiness, but I say....a new pair of shoes doesn't hurt!!