Twice now, lifeguards have asked me if my daughter needs a lifejacket. Both of the lifeguards seemed rather uncomfortable with my three year old’s confidence in the water. I’m sure it didn’t help that she likes to float on her belly with her face in the water. She can also hold her breath for a little longer than makes most people comfortable. Needless to say, I understood why the lifeguards would have preferred if my youngest wore a lifejacket. Still, it was my call.
Parenting is lot like that, isn’t it? I was comfortable with my daughter in the water. I was right there with her and could tell from her eyes that she wasn’t fearful or in trouble. She was having fun, improving her swimming skills, and most importantly, was safe. Yet, even then I was making someone nervous.
Perhaps you’ve made someone uncomfortable with your perfectly fine, but different parenting methods. Maybe it was the way you fed your baby or disciplined your preschooler. You might have chosen a type of schooling for your children that family or friends questioned. Still, it was your decision to make.
For a fleeting moment, I wondered if those lifeguards thought I was a bad mother. Did they think I was endangering my daughter? Fortunately, I came to my senses. Though it’s their job to keep the pool patrons safe, they couldn’t possibly care more for my daughter than I do. No, I didn’t need to question my parenting and most likely, neither do you.
It takes courage to be a parent, especially when what we know to be right for our children is different than what is right for the parents and children around us. Of course, it also takes flexibility to be a parent. Sometimes we change temporarily to make others comfortable. I took my daughter to the shallow end when I realized the lifeguards were anxious about her swimming skills. Other times, we’ve adapted our parenting methods when we’ve been out of town visiting family or friends. Consistency is certainly important when it comes to parenting, but life changes and being flexible is an important skill for both us and our children.
The next time I have the urge to doubt my parenting decisions that I know are right, I hope I’ll remember the lesson I learned at the pool. It takes practice to parent with confidence!