As your children grow and mature, they will want to interact with other children their own age. Once social distancing guidelines are relaxed, a play date is a great way to instill proper social skills kids can carry with them to preschool, kindergarten and beyond. Along the way, you may make some lifelong friends yourself, friends that will be great sounding boards and night-out cohorts. I remember riding my bicycle through our neighborhood with my daughter in the seat on the back and meeting a woman drawing chalk pictures on her front sidewalk with her little girl. Her daughter was the exact age as mine, around 3 at the time, and they became fast friends. This mom and I discovered we had a lot in common and we thought alike. More than 20 years have passed since that day, and we are still soulmates, as are our daughters.
A good rule of thumb for a first playdate is to schedule it at a meeting place, such as McDonald’s or the park. That way, you won’t be expected to stay too long, and if your child has a meltdown or anything goes awry, you can leave easily and on good terms. Making group playdates is another good idea, so you and your child can meet more people.
As you get better acquainted, a home playdate is a workable option. If your child has some special toys she doesn’t want to share, simply stash those items away during the time friends are over. This will help eliminate hurt feelings, minimize the strain of sharing and protect the special toy from being broken. Remember to be nice to your child’s friends’ moms. You don’t have to become besties, but you can be cordial. Also, you don’t always have to host. Take your child to the playground or library to make friends with children there. Story times are a great meetup activity, as is swinging on the swing set.
Also, keep playdates short, a couple hours before lunch or dinner, so you won’t be stuck fixing a full meal. Set definite start and end times. And, for obvious reasons, schedule around naptimes if possible. An active and engaging playtime will help children sleep more soundly afterward. Snacks, like apple slices or veggie straws, served in a designated area are a fun addition and help keep the grumps away. Safety is paramount—lock up all guns and keep the pool off limits. Even if children have taken swimming lessons, don’t add this stress to the group time.
Before company arrives, prepare your child so he will understand what is going to happen. Other kids will be playing with his toys, sitting on your family’s furniture and running around the house. Have him play host to you, simulating a playdate with his stuffed animals. The more prepared your child is, the less likely hurt feelings will rear up when a newcomer enters and engages with your family’s space and belongings.
Another tip is to not spend days cleaning your house. One of the reasons people are reluctant to host a playdate is because they will have to clean. You are not holding an open house for potential buyers! Make the day easy on yourself by confining guests to a few rooms. Simply clean the bathroom, kitchen and area where the kids will play. This way you’re not exhausting yourself. Just block the areas you don’t want guests in with baby gates—or simply lock the doors. Give a quick tour when everyone arrives, but only show them the rooms they’ll need to access.
Lastly, remember to play during the playdate! You’ll find these sociable times a treasured time between you and your child.
Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.
Sources: EverydayFamily.com, SheKnows.com, LiveAbout.com