My husband and I recently told our 6-year-old son he needed to clean off his Lego table because it was getting a little out of control. Yet let’s face the hard truth: Who really likes sorting out tiny Legos into plastic bins according to like type? Not me. No spoiler alert to say our son hadn’t made any progress when we came back to check on him.
Fun task or not—whether it’s cleaning off the Lego table, doing homework or getting ready in the morning—teaching kids to stop dawdling and learn the life skill to maintain their focus and productivity is quite a task.
So how do we speed them up when they have slowed down?
“Sometimes [dawdling] has to do with a child’s need for autonomy or to have control over their environment,” says Kerri Gray, a local mom, marriage and family therapist, and Love and Logic instructor.
Gra says when you tell a strong-willed child to hurry up, he will often do the exact opposite and slow down. Instead of simply telling the child to speed up, she has more success in providing children with choices.
For example, if you are at the park and need to leave within 10 minutes, instead of simply telling the child it is time to go, ask him if he’d like to leave right then or in 10 minutes. Both options work for you and involve leaving within the necessary time frame, but having the option gives the child a sense of being in control.
The key is giving the child a choice of two things, both of which are acceptable to you. Gray says it is helpful to try to share control as much as possible with the child in a way that doesn’t create a problem for you as the parent.
Sometimes, the task the child is procrastinating might simply not be fun. After all, we adults don’t always like cleaning our rooms either.
“Kids tend to drag their feet and procrastinate for similar reasons we as adults do,” Gray says.
In cases like cleaning off our son’s Lego table, Gray suggests helping the child break down the task into more manageable and fun steps. Children don’t always know how to do that on their own.
In retrospect, we could have first told our son to take everything off the table that wasn’t a Lego and put those items away. After that, we could have given him a short break for a few minutes to do something fun. Next, we could have had him put all the Legos in a pile and open up all his Lego bins followed by another short break. Finally, he could have come back and actually sorted all the Legos into the respective bins.
In the end, when children learn how to speed up completing daily tasks, they will have more time to play and enjoy the more interesting aspects of each day.
Getting it done on time
Consider these tips to help with hassle-free productivity in your home.
- Provide options.
Is your child procrastinating writing thank you cards? Instead of saying, “Go write the thank you cards,” try, “Would you like to write the thank you to your grandma or best friend first?”
- Break down complicated tasks into manageable steps.
Cleaning up a messy room can be overwhelming. Instead of “Go clean your room,” try starting with, “Bring all the dirty clothes to the laundry room.”
- Don’t always assume they know how to complete the task.
A child might not know all the steps to get ready for school in the morning. To remedy this, take pictures of the child completing each step and post in a prominent place.
- Let them learn from natural consequences. Being late to or missing a fun activity altogether because kids haven’t completed daily life tasks might be the best tool to help increase their speed.
Allison Gibeson is a writer and mom from Lee’s Summit.