At nearly four years old, my daughter finds new ways to define her independence with each passing day. Some of our recent new abilities and declarations of independence include being able to get her own drink of water from the fridge door, carrying the “heavy” milk and orange juice cartons from the fridge to the table, carrying a tall glass of water by herself to the table, feeding the dog all by herself and suddenly wanting to jump down 3 stairs to our landing. Independence at its finest!
Don’t get me wrong. The water glasses, feeding the dog and carrying the milk and orange juice are really great, but I’m pushing for the independence in the night time. It’s not what you’re thinking. I’m not encouraging her to get up in the middle of the night whenever she feels like it to play or have a snack or something else absurd like that. We cherish sleep around here and staying in your beds, for that matter! What we’re trying to do is help her gain independence (which is really a good disguise for confidence) to get up and use the bathroom ALL BY HERSELF in the middle of the night without calling for our assistance.
With her very own bathroom and a cute bird nightlight, I thought, ‘Who wouldn’t want to get up by themselves to take care of their business at 3am? Seems so inviting!’ To our dismay, our daughter has wanted nothing to do with it. We’ve made strides in the area of at least keeping the nightlight on, though that took quite a bit of convincing. Our kids sleep in a pitch dark room (to help with falling asleep and staying asleep), so the idea of all of a sudden “adding a light” didn’t seem to jive with Little Miss.
When I explained to her that she could get up whenever she needed to use the restroom if she woke up in the night, she had a puzzled look on her face that told me this was not the “get out of jail free” card we were all hoping for. “But I want to call for you. I like calling for you so you can help me.” Ah, a tender tug at your heart. She’s only 3. She’s just not ready to jump into that pool of independence quite yet – getting up all by yourself at 3am in a dark room to use the bathroom. Until that day, we keep reminding her how easy and great it really is! If she would just try it once! But I also know the day will come when I wish she would call for us, need us and want our closeness that 8 year olds and up all of a sudden think they’re too big for.