Tap. Tap. Tap. You know the sound--especially if you have a teenager. The days of writing notes to friends and talking on the phone all night have been replaced. Today’s teens are busy texting instead; typing messages not only to friends, but parents, too. Keeping in touch has never been easier for parents and their teens, but is a mobile parent-teen relationship really a good thing?
While there is some worry about verbal communication between parents and their teens losing to this thumb-tapping technology, recent reports by the Pew Research Center suggest otherwise. It’s true that mobile texting, for teenagers, has actually overtaken phone conversations when connecting with friends, but not with Mom and Dad. Instead, 78 percent of teens said they are more likely to engage their vocal chords when communicating with their parents.
That’s not saying teens don’t text Mom and Dad; they do. Texting is a quick way to say “Hi,” to report where they are and what time they’ll be home.
“My mom and I text usually just to inform each other of our whereabouts,” says Olathe South High School junior Karin Hoffman. “Since I started driving, we text twice as much as we did before because she requires that I text her when I leave and arrive at any place.”
So, why do some teens prefer the phone over the typed message when communicating with their parents? For some, talking on the phone is just easier. Sometimes the expression and inflection of a voice is needed … not an emoticon.
“My daughter is a senior in high school, and we text each other a lot,” Grain Valley English teacher Brian Davis says. “But sometimes she tells me to just call her because it’s easier to talk on the phone.”
Other teens, however, feel parents are simply out of the texting loop. Besides not texting well in general, focus-group teenagers said their parents often complained about text lingo - abbreviations such as LOL (laugh out loud) and idk (I don’t know) – as well as the lack of capitalization and grammar issues. So to avoid a lecture on spelling and grammar, some teens opt to call Mom and Dad instead.
“It really seems to depend on the situation whether students call or text parents,” Davis says. “I see a lot of students texting their parents when they forget assignments or lunch money because it’s easier.”
With three-quarters of 12- to 17-year-olds now owning cell phones, reports show that more than 70 percent of teens now use text messaging. And girls text a lot more than guys, sending and receiving about 80 total texts per day compared to teen boys at about 30 messages. With these statistics, is texting becoming a problem in school, and could parents be contributing to it?
Davis says he doesn’t see it as a problem in schools right now. “I think schools will eventually catch up. Some schools allow students to text during breaks and lunch while others have strict rules for students to have phones turned off until the school day ends,” he says. “Some teachers are strict about it. I personally don’t mind if students text, as long as it’s not during my time.”
For those parents and teens who do text each other often, many find that texting has improved their communication. Some teens admit that they like texting their parents on a regular basis; they say it helps bring them closer and helps their family stay on track.
“We talk when I’m at home and we text only when we need to or it’s easier,” Karin says. “I like the system we have worked out.”
Karin’s mom, Torie, agrees and says she doesn’t allow texting to take over her family’s time together. “Call me old-fashioned, but I still want to be able to look my kids in the eye; and my husband and friends, too.”
Gina Klein is a Kansas City mom and writer who enjoys texting her friends on occasion.