Until I entered motherhood, I don’t think I really had a good grasp on what it was like to connect with a group of people who share a single commonality. I thought I understood it in high school, and then again in college. Young people trying to maneuver the winding road of adolescents, driving, dating, and now the freedom (and responsibility) that comes with the college years. While we shared some things in common, we were all still quite different, maybe even a bit judgmental, and possibly even unwilling to humble ourselves to really relate with and understand the other person.
Parenthood seems to have a way to connect you right away with every other parent.
We’ve all had those moments. Watching a parent struggle to grocery shop while her kids are grabbing items off the shelves, not staying close by to the cart, or the occasional sibling scuffle that ensues. We’ve seen the award-winning tantrum by the toddler, the crying child refusing to leave the playground, the child that’s upset because you opened the door and they really had their heart set on doing that oh-so mundane task. I could go on and on…..
Now when I see that happening, I sympathize immediately. I understand that moment for that parent, who is simply just trying to get the groceries on her list without making a scene, because haven’t you been there in one way or another? I know my 18 month old has some pretty good tricks up his sleeve as of late to make a simple task a bit more challenging.
I recall a time my husband took the kids to a park about 6 or 7 miles from our house. He put them in the bike trailer and thought a bike trip to the park while I ran errands would be fun. Great idea! Way to go, Dad! Everything was great until the dreaded time to leave arrived. My daughter didn’t handle the news well, there were handfuls of Moms and kids around, and my husband is all alone with a screaming kid. He has no choice but to stuff a screaming child into the bike trailer who is aggressively refusing to wear her helmet now or wear the seatbelt. He hustles as fast as he can, gets on the bike, and rides home the whole way with a crying child.
He was beyond mortified from that experience. He kept thinking, “What must all of those Moms be thinking?” Can I tell you….they are all thinking, ‘What a good Dad for bringing his kids to the park. We’re glad the meltdown belongs to his kids today, not mine, but boy do I know that feeling. Hang in there, Dad.’ Parenting is humbling and a far cry from easy, but it really makes us appreciate all the work our parents must have put in to raise us as well as they have.