"Your kids won't listen to the words you say, they'll watch what you DO." .... this is probably one of the best pieces of parenting advice I've ever received. One of my dear friends and mentors wrote that on a card when I had my first daughter and I hope to never forget. As I've come to know people over the years and learn about their parents, their parenting, and their other influences.... the wealth of wisdom in that statement is proven again and again.
And so it is that I find that as parents sometimes that means doing difficult things because our character is being refined and ultimately we are teaching our children.
Like most moms, I have a list of things I hope to teach my children... one of them being that the "Best Things in Life are Worth Waiting for." Patience pays off! In this day and age of "instant gratification" I find that is a tough lesson to impart and sometimes a tough habit to keep.
I could tell tales of countless times I was grateful for waiting.... from the meeting and marriage to my husband, to the arrival of our children, but most recently, I am grateful for nine years in a small house.
For nine years, we lived in our "itsy bitsy" (as I call it) house. My kitchen does not have a dishwasher... it is too small for one. My bedroom has one small closet (my husband uses it - while my clothes are stored in another room). Our garage is not large enough to accommodate our mini-van even if the garage was entirely empty. This year, I was not able to put up a big Christmas tree because there was not space due to our growing family.... we only put up the small kids' tabletop tree. I could continue... but I think you get the general idea.
Please don't hear complaining here - there is none. I am VERY aware that there are MANY in much smaller homes (if homes at all) all around the world and nearby.
When others asked me when/if we were moving into a larger home, I would say, "Our house isn't ready yet."
The timing wasn't right yet.... there were many circumstances that had to play out first before the timing was right.
As I reflect on our nine years, it hasn't been "easy" and at times it required a great deal of creativity... but our family always had a roof over our heads, food on our plates, clothes on our backs, and each other. I can't even describe how much joy it brought to me that my daughters were sad at the idea of moving because they are happy here. Even though all of their friends have far more space than they have ever known, they have never noticed this.... they are happy because we are happy. As crowded as we feel, we know that family makes the home and that matters more than anything. Every night we tuck the girls in saying our prayers and giving thanks for our blessings, including our home. How many in this world have less!
And meanwhile, we worked and worked and worked and worked, and we made wish lists... as you all know the needs of families are different - we hoped for several features to better accommodate working from home and homeschooling that may not be applicable to others.
And meanwhile, our new home was being prepared. Little did we know that all the while we were waiting, another family was living in our "soon-to-be new home" and they were improving / fixing/ and updating it... literally creating spaces that were absolutely ideal for our family. And while we were waiting, our family grew and the needs of our family evolved, so that my husband and I were better able to choose a new home with better understanding of our family's needs/uses. I may never meet the family who lived in our "soon-to-be home" but I am EXTREMELY grateful to them and the terrific job they did in caring for the house.
Nine years of waiting... and it's about to pay off. And it is my prayer that my children learn that while it is tempting to be impatient - patience ALWAYS pays off!
And, one final thought - about my husband... today I shared with a friend that we were moving and told her about the new house. She had no idea how small our current home was until I explained, and she said, 'You must really love your husband."
And I do - and I pray that IF my girls ever marry, that they are patient in waiting for the right person... someone who, like their dad, puts God first, then family, is honest, hard-working, wise, loves children, and truly loves them.
I pray that as my girls grow, that they learn to wait on the Lord (Is. 40:31) and His timing, and no matter how hard that may seem at the moment, it's always best. Patience always pays off!