As you may remember me talking about in the past, my brother (Bud) received a heart transplant ten years ago. He was born with congenital defects, had many surgeries over the years and was then in need of a new heart. He was on the transplant list for 17 months. For those months, we all carried pagers, waiting anxiously for the call. We had been warned that organs are like babies-they come at odd times. The night my brother got the call was a Thursday. He and another brother (Joe) were out listening to the band who was going to play at Joe's wedding in a week. His coordinator called around 11:00 with the news that a heart was available. Bud, however, was not the primary recipient. When an organ becomes available a primary recipient and a back-up are notified so that if the organ doesn't work in the primary, it won't go to waste. Bud went home and he and my mom and dad drove to the hospital. As they exited the highway, his coordinator called back, informing him that he was now the primary-it was his heart!
Ty and I were in KC and mom had called with the news that Bud was a back-up. I asked her to please call when they got home from the hospital. Instead of the call from my mom, I got a call from Joe telling me we needed to get to St. Louis. Luckily we have a good friend who is a pilot and he was able to get us to St. Louis by about 3 in the morning. By the time we arrived at the hospital, Bud was already being prepped for surgery so we didn't have a chance to see him. His last words before he went under were "Whatever happens, don't cancel the wedding." After many long hours, his new heart was in and he was off the pump by about noon on Friday (Friday the 13th). We were able to see him about four hours later. He was still unconscious but very restless. I went up to him and told him that he was alive and had survived the surgery. That didn't seem to calm him down. Then I asked him if he wanted to know about the donor. He got very still and I told him what we knew. His donor was a 17 year old young man that had died in a car accident. After that, Bud was much more peaceful.
To this day, that remains all we know about his donor. Bud has written several letters to his donor's family, but they have wished to remain anonymous. As we close the door on April, organ and tissue donation awareness month, I ask you to think about being a donor. Signing your driver's license is a good start, but that only implies intent. In order to be a donor, you need to be sure your family knows your wishes, as they will have to give the final consent.
I can't honestly tell you what I would do in that awful moment, knowing that a loved one has passed suddenly. Would I be able to carry out their wishes to donate? I would hope so. We are forever grateful to the nameless angel whose family, in their darkest hour, gave my brother the gift of life.
Posted by Margaret Sarver