The transition from the cozy world of maternity leave to the harsh reality of daycare is monumental. How, where and when to embark into daycare planning is a highly polarizing subject. In fact, if you’re ever feeling argumentative, forget politics. Just bring up daycare. Full-time or part-time? One provider per child or several providers for many children? In-home care or daycare center?
The subject of daycare can take a toll on parents who are just beginning to grapple with taking their child somewhere other than home. While it’s a huge gravitational shift, with proper planning and a little patience, the changeover doesn’t have to be painful. Here are some tips on how to make it all go smoothly.
Start general discussions—early
You don’t need a crystalized road map for daycare before your child is even conceived. Although it might be nice to have all the boxes seemingly checked, things can change rapidly and throw a monkey wrench into the mix.
Instead of dialing in to precise locations and curriculums of daycare, keep the early conversations broad. Avoid logistics and discuss your feelings instead. Are you open to a full workweek at daycare, or do you envision involving a parent or neighbor at times? What does your budget allow for?
Listen with love
Your perspective on daycare may differ wildly from your partner’s. Religion, personal experience and familial history can influence a person’s viewpoint. Be sure to hear one another and understand that the decisions you’re making are yours as a couple. Well-meaning loved ones are likely to offer their opinion, but ultimately daycare is a journey that the two of you will navigate together.
Pro tip: Many of these dialogues will occur while one of you is pregnant, so give the conversation permission to breathe. There’s no shame in tabling this topic and coming back later if both parties are getting flustered. Remember, you both want the best for your baby. As long as you lead with that in mind, there’s nothing you can’t figure out.
Ask ALL the questions
After some pre-work, you will narrow down your top one to three choices that you want to visit. Schedule a time to come in and be armed with questions that are bubbling up inside you. There are no stupid or out-of-bounds questions. Your child is irreplaceable, not just inventory for a facility to put in its books, and the staff should be ready to answer all your questions.
Have your queries ready on paper or your phone and ask each one. Take notes on the provider’s response, so you can circle back with inevitable follow-up questions. Your goal here is not to interrogate the provider, but to do a thorough job of gathering a sense of the staff and the safety of the space.
Family can be great—or not so great
Many parents find that the best (and cheapest) solution for daycare is within their own family. While this can be a seemingly perfect solution, it can also come with its own set of complications. With any other daycare solution, if personalities don’t mesh or there’s a disagreement, you can pull the plug and go elsewhere. When family is involved, the implications can be more impactful. Be sure you discuss all potential roadblocks of involving family in such a deeply important aspect of your family’s life. It could be amazing … but it could go south quickly, too.
Do your research
We are in a digital age, and it’s amazing how far a quick internet search can take you. Look up reviews on your top daycare considerations. Ask friends and colleagues for their recommendations. If you are using an in-home daycare provider, ask for at least three references and call every single one of them. You can even go so far as to do a background check on the provider if it makes you more comfortable. There’s no such thing as being too careful, especially if it sets your mind at ease.
Do a drop-in
Scheduled visits are nice, but you’ll gain valuable insight when you see what the facility looks like on a normal day, when they’re unprepared for a visit. Some daycares’ safety measures don’t allow for drop-ins, so you might have to get creative. Consider watching the kids and caregivers interact when they’re outside for playtime. Don’t be creepy about it, but take in a general sense of the facility through a more voyeuristic lens.
Prepare your child—and yourself
This is a big step, so take it slow. That first week, plan for your child to only attend for an hour or two before you pick him up. As the week goes on, progressively stretch the time out a little farther—until you’re ready to go for the full allotted time.
Realize you will have emotions, and so will your child. This is a significant change to your established routines, and the entry point might be challenging. Give your employer a heads-up so they can be prepared if you’re a bit emotional or need to leave work early to pick up your child.
Quick Must-Ask Questions:
- Are you licensed? – When the answer is yes, ask for a copy of the license number.
- What’s your discipline policy? – Does this align with how you discipline your child?
- What is your immunization policy? – Like it or not, it’s a question you should ask.
- What’s your late pickup/late drop-off policy? – If you’re prone to being late, this is a good one to be aware of!
Kim Antisdel is a freelance writer and interior design sales rep for KC. She lives in Liberty with her husband, stepdaughters and son.