On a cold, dreary morning I found myself in one of those mom funks. You know, the moments when your kids won’t eat any food you offer, and you know you’ve maxed out their screen time for the day. You’re sweeping up dog food they dumped out for the third time. They’re running circles around your kitchen island because you left your iced coffee within reach.
It’s easy for the off days to make you question all of your parenting tactics. And once you start down that path, you get lost in critiquing yourself. At least, that’s what I do. I struggle with solid routines, I’ve given in to unhealthy foods, I’ve bargained instead of saying no to avoid a meltdown, and I’m not always consistent.
But along with all the things I think I do wrong, I must be doing something right. For four whole years, I’ve managed to keep my child healthy and out of danger (even though he licks everything). He’s also pretty cute. I made a list of what (I think) I’m nailing when it comes to parenting, because we all need a boost once in a while. I challenge you to do the same.
What I think I’m doing right:
- I always keep snacks on hand.
- If my son is having a meltdown, I sincerely empathize and try to find the source of his frustration or what he is trying to communicate.
- I keep a change of clothes, extra jacket, a blanket, baby wipes and trash bags in the car for emergencies—you never know!
- I try to think of fun activities to fill his day since I currently stay at home with him. This can be tricky.
- I try to incorporate sensory-friendly activities into our mornings.
- I offer healthy foods at mealtimes (even if he won’t eat them).
- I’m usually patient.
- I check to make sure there’s nothing in his mouth that he could choke on before he falls asleep. You know kids—they put EVERYTHING in their mouths.
- I send him to preschool with his favorite stuffed animal friend.
- One time he drew on the wall, so I signed his name and dated it, because, toddler art knows no boundaries.
- We take deep breaths together.
- I know every song from the Trolls soundtrack (not a parenting requirement, but something I take pride in).
- I hold him and wipe his forehead with a washcloth when he’s throwing up.
- We go to the pediatrician. We take vitamins. We sing “Baby Shark.”
The truth is, all moms are doing so many right things even when they feel they’re failing. I bet your list would be even longer than this one. A few area moms shared their positive parenting skills, too. Whether it’s that you tell your kids you love them every day, teach them a new skill or comfort them when they’re sick, chances are, you’re doing great.
“I’m working on teaching our kids about budgeting and finance,” says Hannah Smith, mom of three. Smith recently purchased a book called How to Make Your Kid a Money Genius (Even if You Aren’t) and filled with age-appropriate lessons ranging from investing to saving to budgeting. It’s an important skill she wants to share with them.
Tabitha Anderson, mom of two, showers her sons with unconditional love every day. “I do know that I am giving my boys the most love that I possibly can, whether that be extra kisses, telling them I love them a million times over or special snuggles,” she says.
Kariann Noland believes hugs are the best medicine. “When my children are having a hard time, angry or frustrated, I offer them a hug. It is amazing how fast a hug fixes a problem.”
Megan Haahr is nailing this whole parenting gig as well. “I think everyone doubts themselves sometimes, but when my boys tell each other that they love each other, I figure I have to be doing something right,” she says.
Jennifer Parker, mom of one, sums up parenting life well. “I think one of the things I do right is that when things get stressful and overwhelming, when I feel like work is consuming my family time, when I drop my kiddo off at daycare for 10 hours a day, when I start to feel guilty for literally anything, I tell myself that I’m doing the best I can. My kid is happy and loved, and that’s what matters.”
The next time you feel like your mom skills are lacking, take a breath and reflect on all the positive ways you’ve influenced your babies this week. You’re doing it right.
Quick pick-me-ups for moms
- Download the Calm or Headspace app (or any free app allowing for at least a 5-minute meditation).
- Brew a cup of your favorite coffee or tea.
- Watch an episode of your favorite show on Netflix or Hulu.
- Write in your journal.
- Have a 5- to 10-minute yoga session in your living room.
- Listen to your favorite podcast.
- Unfollow any Instagram accounts that make you unhappy or self-conscious. You don’t need that extra negativity in your life.
- Follow other moms and kindred spirits on social media and read their posts every morning. You’re not alone.
- Keep a list of daily affirmations.
Emily Morrison is a freelance writer, former copy editor, full-time mommy and Disney fanatic who lives in Independence with her husband, 4-year-old son and two dogs.