The holidays are a time for family, reminiscing and magic. They’re also a time for more stress than most of us care to experience. Of all the holiday roles to play, “Mom” is one of the hardest. So ignore the dust mites under the TV cabinet for a few minutes and take our quiz to see what kind of holiday mom you are.
Q: It’s Dec. 1. Here’s how you feel about Christmas music:
- Thanks to Pandora and Spotify, I listen all year round.
- I can’t handle Karen Carpenter singing about logs on the fire. Ever.
- I’ve created a fake account so I can buy Sia’s and Gwen Stefani’s Christmas albums the minute they come out without anyone knowing. Shhhhh.
Q: The fourth grade holiday bake sale is tomorrow afternoon. Your baked goods:
- Have been made since Tuesday. I found a great recipe on Pinterest that I made while I drank wine.
- Are coming from the closest grocery store that also sells wine. Bonus points if they see my frazzled hair and give me a free cookie.
- Look, it’s my fourth-grader’s’ bake sale, so my fourth-grader can make the cookies while I supervise and drink wine.
Q: Holiday cards get more elaborate every year. How does your family’s shape up?
- Don’t judge, but I love holiday cards! It’s certainly no picnic getting everyone to hold still, but worth it so we can share an updated photo and year’s overview with friends and loved ones.
- Last year we tried to do a holiday family photo with matching outfits. Several incidents conspired to prevent that from becoming a reality—I’m lucky my husband isn’t in jail. Hark, the herald generic angel card FTW this year.
- This is what Facebook and Instagram are for.
Q: You and your husband are arguing. Why?
- There are 48 hours in the Christmas weekend. We must somehow divide them equally amongst four families that each live a minimum of 50 miles away from each other. We haven’t done math this hard since eighth grade.
- The details are fuzzy, but it started with his asking, “What’s for dinner?”
- We’re out of coffee and neither of us wants to drive. 1, 2, 3, not it.
Q: You’re drinking out of your favorite holiday mug. What’s inside?
- All. The. Coffee.
- Look at my cork collection and you won’t need to ask this question.
- Specialty Earl Grey tea that costs more than a gym membership. But it’s the only calm part of my day.
Q: What Christmas movie most accurately represents your holiday mom-style?
- Home Alone. No really, everyone leave. I need a nap and five minutes of quiet.
- It’s a Wonderful Life. Look, the holidays are hard, but we are truly lucky to have one another.
- Die Hard. Two kids’ Christmas plays, 49 wrapped presents, cookies out for Santa, three pies in the oven, a turkey ready for the morning…Yippee-ki-yay!
Q: Your favorite holiday tradition is:
- Volunteering at the local mission or animal shelter. Remembering this time of year to give to those less fortunate is important.
- Putting up Christmas decorations. To see the accumulation of ornaments each year shows how far we’ve come as a family and never fails to bring a sentimental tear to my eye.
- Opening presents on Christmas Day. The look on my children’s faces is all I need to remind me that the chaos is all worth it.
Q: You’ve just been asked to participate in the holiday planning committee at the office. What role have you been asked to fill?
- Jug of juice provider. Done and done.
- Do offices have holiday committees? That’s cute. My office consists of watching over a boss who isn’t potty trained and just ate a Lego.
- I left at 3:30 to pick up my son from preschool and take my daughter to taekwondo. They know better than to ask me to do anything.
Q: A magic wand waves and you get the perfect gift from your family for Christmas. What is it?
- A week away at the beach with family.
- Six months of prepaid, prearranged house cleaning.
- Tickets to see my favorite band and a babysitter for the next morning so I can recover in peace.
Results:
If you’re reading this and realize you relate to all of the choices: Congrats! You’re totally normal. The holidays can make anyone a little kooky. Relax, take a breath and book a spa appointment. Then sit your family down and plan the holidays together; no one should have to go it alone.
If you’re reading this and think that being a Holiday Mom sounds like a sentence of torture: That’s okay, you aren’t a mom just yet. And maybe you don’t want to be. Either way, chances are you know a mom in your life. Give her a hug and maybe even bring her some spiked egg nog. She’ll appreciate it.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I had no idea my wife was this stressed”: Look at you! Doing some sneaky research to get inside your wife’s psyche. Here are the facts: She loves your family, but the holidays are taking a toll. A lovely bouquet of flowers and a night off from the chaos for both of you is a good start. Happy holidays!
Kim Antisdel is a freelance writer and interior design sales rep for KC. She lives in Liberty with her husband, stepdaughters and toddler son.