Your child doesn’t understand his algebra homework, but you do. Do you …
- Do his algebra homework for him so it doesn’t take all night?
- Show him how to work the problems and then let him find the answers on his own?
- Ignore his cries and pleas for help and make him do his own homework?
Your daughter is struggling with a question in her history workbook and asks you for the answer. While desperately trying to get dinner on the table, do you …
- Give her the answer so you can get dinner finished?
- Read the question to her aloud, ask her what she knows about that question and then tell her to reread that section in her history book for the answer?
- Tell her you don’t know and that it’s her responsibility to do her work.
Your son is frantic because he has an essay due tomorrow and hasn’t done a bit of research for it yet. Do you …
- Jump on Google and do the research for him?
- Make a quick run to the library together to gather a few books to read on the essay topic and then help him with notetaking to get him started writing?
- Shout at him for waiting until the last minute and tell him he’d better figure out a way to get it done?
Your tween daughter struggles with writing and has an essay due once a week in her English class. Do you …
- Write all her papers for her so she doesn’t have to struggle?
- Sit down and help her with the first few essays, step-by-step, to build her confidence and skills?
- Tell her to research Google on how to write an essay?
You know your son knows how to do his math problems, but he insists he needs your help on every homework assignment. Do you …
- Sit down and help him every night anyway?
- Make it into a game—you vs. him—and see who gets the correct answer for each problem first?
- Remind him that he knows how to do the assignment and that you aren’t helping him again?
Your daughter went to bed before completing her homework. Do you …
- Sit up late and finish it for her?
- Wake her earlier than usual in the morning and let her finish it before heading off to school?
- Make her go to school with it unfinished so she’ll get a bad grade and perhaps learn a lesson about finishing her work when she’s supposed to?
Your son has basketball practice right after school, followed by plans he made to hang out at his friend’s house. He won’t have enough time to finish his homework before morning. Do you …
- Allow him to hit the hay when he gets home from his friend’s house and tell the school he’s sick the following morning so that he can finish it?
- Cancel his plans with his friend and have him come home directly after his basketball practice so he can complete his homework?
- Don’t say a word and let him fail?
Your daughter is overwhelmed with the 35-question civics worksheet she needs to turn in the following day. As she pleads for your help, do you …
- Tell her that if she does half of the questions, you’ll finish the rest for her?
- Have her work on 10 to 12 questions at a time, then take a break and then work on the next batch, etc., so she’ll feel more confident?
- Remind her that you had a lot of homework back in your day, and it’s not your responsibility to do hers for her?
Your child has a science project due by week’s end, and she doesn’t know where to begin. Do you …
- Get excited because science projects are your favorite, opt to help but end up doing the entire project by yourself?
- Ask her what she envisions her project to be, give her some tips on how to make it great and tell her you’re there to help guide her along the way as she needs it?
- Tell her to look online for science projects that other kids have done and just copy one of those?
Your son didn’t have enough time to complete his homework due to his lineup of activities after school. In a hurry to turn it in the next morning, he wrote in answers he knew were incorrect, resulting in a D grade. Do you …
- Tell him that the next time he runs out of time to finish his homework, you’ll do it for him so it gets done properly?
- Explain to your son why it’s important to complete his work in a timely manner, even if it means missing a few after-school activities to do so?
- Complain to the teacher, demanding a chance to re-do the assignment so you can help him?
Key:
- Mostly As: You’re way too involved and need to cut back and trust that your child can do it.
- Mostly Bs: Your amount of help is just right. Keep up the good work!
- Mostly Cs: You need to tune in a little more with your child’s schoolwork and how you can help from time to time to show him you care.
Kansas City mom and author Gina Klein enjoys helping her daughters with their schoolwork but refuses to do it for them because it doesn’t teach them anything and will eventually backfire.