The dreaded witching hour. You know, that time when the littles are up from naps, and bigger kids are home from school. They’re hangry, but you don’t want them to eat too much because you’re trying to start dinner. Everyone comes home and leaves their things all over the place, and you’re ready to check out for the day too. It can be a lot!
I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the majority of my motherhood journey and have had a traveling husband for most of that time, so I have lots of experience with learning how to handle this challenging time. Every family is different—between stages of life, age gaps, number of kids and how your household runs—but here are a few suggestions if you’re desperate for some magic spells to combat the witching hour.
First things first: food! Have an afternoon snack ready to go and a plan for dinner. Have a snack ready once they wake up from naps or get home from school, so you can rule out that reason for crankiness. My amazing friend Amanda Wettersten over at One Hundred People Project makes happy hour snacks for her boys, and it’s simple yet the cutest thing. It’s such a great way to pause and connect with your children after a day apart. If I start prepping dinner during snack time, I often find that hungry children will eat fresh-cut veggies while I’m cutting them, which is an easy way to sneak some healthy snacks in and then not have to worry if they don’t eat more at dinnertime.
When my children were younger, we had a pretty solid daily schedule, a routine that we could rely on. Routines and schedules can sound lame and boring, but they can really add a sense of safety and control for both a mom and kids. I liked routines because, in the chaos of three tiny humans 5 and under, at least I knew what my next step was. That could look like waking them up for an afternoon snack, taking a short walk to wake up and get some fresh air, then coming back to play while I made dinner.
Meal planning was a magical hack that made our evenings so much easier once we implemented it. It sounds so basic to me now, but having a weekly menu with all ingredients ready and meat thawed is so much better than frantically figuring out what’s for dinner at 5:00. I also discovered The Lazy Genius Podcast, and she introduced me to meal matrices where you can meal plan for a whole season. One fewer decision is always helpful in the life of a mom.
If your kids are older and coming home from school, routine can be helpful for them to know what to expect and be able to take a breath from a long day at school. Our basic after-school routine is to wash up, have a snack, get snacks and water bottles ready for the next day, do homework and play outside while the sun is still out for a while. Nowadays, we’re in the season of many extracurriculars, so our evenings can be a little chaotic for other reasons, but keeping that weekly menu is still helpful to know when dinner should be prepared in case someone needs to eat earlier.
If a routine is nice but your family still likes some fun sprinkled on top, consider themed days of the week. This piggybacks on the idea of routine but makes each day a little more special. Mondays could be playing at the park, Tuesdays could be arts and crafts, Wednesdays could be a trip to the library, Thursdays could be building forts or with blocks, and Fridays could be cartoons. I had a few of these ideas written out for days at home with my kids too. It’s nice to have some built-in ideas to start from. I’ve made lists of ideas for inside and outside play for my kids that come in so handy over the weekend or on no-school days. If you’re up for it, sometimes a quick outing or stop after school can break up the time before dinner and bedtime. Themed days can also help with meal planning: meatless Mondays, taco Tuesdays, whatever Wednesdays, pasta Thursdays and pizza Fridays. In the fog of those little years, any easy buttons are helpful.
Here are some other ideas when children’s moods are extra witchy. Get them outside! Yes, we still have more chilly days than warm, but bundle them up even if it’s for a quick 10-20 minutes of playing outdoors. Bundle them up in the stroller, walk to a nearby playground or just run around the yard for a few minutes. The noise of my children always got more manageable once we were outside. The change of scenery can do wonders. I know many families let kids play at a nearby playground after school pickup just to get that extra energy out before they head home for the night.
Water is another tool that changes moods pretty quickly. So instead of baths after dinner and before bed, change it up and do baths before dinner. This could mean that baths can last longer or be more fun too. For example, you could do glowstick baths, wash a waterproof baby doll, play with other toys in the bath or eat a Popsicle in the bath. This can also be a calming time to set the tone for the evening ahead. This works for big kids with big emotions too. Sometimes a nice bath and feeling cared for are just what the doctor ordered. (Check out Jen Hatmaker’s “Awesome Bath” or “Feelings Bath” for more on how to pamper cranky big kids.) Having this nightly routine done earlier can allow for more family time after dinner, especially if older siblings or another parent comes home later. Sensory bins are another great tool to keep handy and can also tie back into the themed days. Ideas include play dough, rice/dry beans/dry pasta bins, containers with lids from the recycling bin, cotton balls and tongs and more.
If possible, consider hiring a mother’s helper to come over during this stressful time to entertain your kids while you prepare for the evening. This is a great way for older children to gain experience for babysitting down the road and to have a different energy come into your home. Think about any neighbors with older children that may be interested or ask around your neighborhood or mom circles to find a mature older elementary or middle school-aged child who would be willing to help you out—even for just once or twice a week. This scenario also gives a potential future babysitter a great way to get to know your family and how your household runs. We once had a student teacher live with us for a semester, and she entertained my then 18-month- old and 3-year-old when she came home from school, so I could make dinner. It was extremely helpful! Our kids would run into her arms and look forward to reading time with Natalie.
Finally, save screen time for when it’s most useful to you. This can go along with routine too. Make it a house rule that screens are only after homework is done and they’re ready for school the next day. This can be a great way for younger kids to learn in a fun way with shows on PBS, a way for older kids to decompress after a long day at school and a nice way for siblings to spend time together. We’re pretty intentional about screen time in our house, but it is fun to see our kids share inside jokes about shows they watch together, play video games together and make those little memories together too. As a parent, you get to set the house rules, so you can say PBS shows only, or they must watch a show all kids agree on or set a time or episode limit. Then they know when to turn it off and move on to the next thing, which could be dinner and starting the nighttime routine.
Karen Hepp, mother of four, agrees: “Save the day’s screen time for that time of day, make freezer pops or a special treat in the morning and bring it out at that time, and rotate toys and bring out fresh ones at that time.”
Stephanie Loux is the mother of Layla, 13, Mason, 11, and Slade, 8, and remembers many endless dark evenings during the little years. Now she’s trying to feed dinner to everyone while being the taxi mom between extracurricular activities.