Summer is finally here. The school year has come to an end and the summer activities can begin: A whirlwind of backyard BBQs, lunch dates at the pool or park, office picnics, family vacations and yes, family reunions. Once upon a time, our extended and immediate family all lived within a five mile radius. Now, our extended families are more widely dispersed; it is rare to run into anyone who still lives in the town where they were born or even raised.
Because some of us simply cringe at the idea of running into that annoying aunt or catty cousin, we forget the importance of unity with our family and sometimes overlook the benefits it brings to the generations to come. Families are able to preserve their heritage, create new memories and reminisce about the old ones, establish new traditions, foster family relationships and just have a good time at gatherings.
“Reunions are a time to remember the happy times, the laughs, the smiles, and connect with the ones you haven’t seen in years,” says Jackie Roberson, Kansas City, Mo, grandmother of four.
People also want to stay in touch with other members of their family tree, if for no other reason than to see how the newest offspring are progressing. “If there is one compelling reason for family reunions, it is so that young cousins can get better acquainted,” says Anna Beyer, Olathe, KS, mother of two. “We can go years without my children seeing their cousins, but the minute we arrive, they are palling around like they never skipped a beat.”
While we might take a few silly group shot pictures and wear that family reunion t-shirt, the events we are partaking in are greater than the effort it takes to get there. Sarah Dettmer, M.S.Ed., M.S., LPC, psychotherapist, is an individual, couple and family counselor in Kansas City, Mo. She says, “Family reunions offer an opportunity to grow from past wounds, develop new memories, recall past experiences, learn from family, see how others have changed, and experience new locations and activities.”
Reunions are fun, no doubt, whether you are partaking or hosting. If you play your clan’s host, follow these helpful guidelines to keep the equilibrium between work and play.
Decide Which Tree to Shake
This might be the obvious first step in planning your reunion, but deciding ahead of time how extensive you want the guest list to be is important. Are you going to invite only direct-line relatives, or are you extending the invite to second and third cousins? Set a limit and stick with it.
Surveying is Key
Send out a survey to your guest list, not only to let them know there is a reunion underway but also to gauge their interest. Ask them about locations and themes, dates and budgets. Keep in mind you are not going to be able to make everyone happy, but surveying will at least give you a chance to accommodate most.
Form a committee
Organizing a committee for your reunion is one of the most essential tasks to assuring a successful event. Gather relatives who are interested in helping and assign certain projects such as planning the menu, researching and reserving accommodations, handling mailings and creating social activities for everyone. Divide up the work; you don’t need to do more than you have to.
There are high expectations that go along with throwing any party, but especially reunions. As you conquer this feat, keep in mind the real reason you are doing it: to celebrate family, preserve heritage, bond with relatives you haven’t seen in years and have a great time.
Jennifer Duxbury is a freelance writer living in Belton with her 1-year-old son, Madden, and her husband, Aaron. She is looking forward to her family reunion this summer, so everyone can meet her new family!