Parents wear lots of hats and spin lots of plates. Taking care of yourself is crucial to taking care of your family well. Licensed therapist Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT, says parental self-care is much like the airplane oxygen mask principle: Put yours on first and then you can take care of your children. Here are 10 things you can do to grow, improve and make 2020 your best year yet.
Hydrate
Drinking enough water produces a huge amount of health benefits, from lubricating joints to regulating body temperature and boosting skin health (not to mention helping ward off brain fog). And considering the fact that four out of five Americans don’t drink enough water, your daily hydration routine could likely use improvement. For many moms, not drinking enough water is a two-fold dilemma. For starters, if you wait until you start to feel thirsty, you’re waiting too long. Thirst is a reactive signal: if you wait until you realize you’re thirsty, you are already dehydrated. The other challenge for some of us is that water just isn’t palatable compared to flavorful options. If this is your turn-off, dress up your H2O with cucumbers, mint or fresh fruit.
Eat Your Veggies
Our culture rewards with cookies and candy, but if you want to feel your best, you need to eat your best. Choose to eat a handful of leafy greens each day. Focus first on adding good foods to your diet instead of eliminating bad ones—you’ll fill yourself with good fuel and still have a little room for a few treats afterward. The results might surprise you (like a newfound love for kale—who knew?!).
Catch More ZZZs
Most resolutions revolve around doing more, but what if the answer was found in doing less? The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says one out of three American adults are not getting enough sleep. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends adults between 18 and 30 should aim to sleep for a solid seven hours each night. Just as establishing a bedtime routine at the same time each night helps your kids shut down, it’s equally beneficial to establish a similar protocol for yourself. Dr. Wayne Giles, director of the CDC’s Division of Population Health, suggests that simple lifestyle changes could result in better sleep, such as keeping TVs, computers and cell phones out of the bedroom. Most moms give the evil eye if told to take a nap (when would that take place, after all?!), but even if you can’t afford to catch some shut-eye during the day, getting solid sleep at night can be critical to functioning at your best during the day.
Gift Yourself Personal Development Opportunities
Being a responsible adult means you’re willing to do hard things, but being a good grown-up doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. One of the best ways you can teach your kids how to be an awesome adult one day is to show them that learning doesn’t stop when you receive your diploma. So take that cooking class you always wanted to try or pick up a new instrument. Challenging yourself to learn new things not only boosts your own self-confidence, but it sets a great tone for your kids as they realize a lifetime of fun is in store for them as well.
Unplug from the Virtual World
Social media is like a digital water cooler, a place where friends can reconnect and inspiration can strike. Unfortunately, this connection has an ugly side. the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found links between depression and Facebook overuse. Put the phone down and give yourself restrictions such as an unplugged day once a week, an unplugged week once a month and even a month-long digital sabbatical each year.
Declutter
For most of us, the idea of spending precious evenings and weekends cleaning is less than desirable. One way to add more time to your days is to have less stuff to manage. “The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don't,” minimalist author Joshua Becker says. “Owning less is better than organizing more.” But where do you start if you’ve got an almighty mess on your hands? Start by going through one room at a time with a box of trash bags and be ready to pass along anything that’s not serving you.
Go on a Date
Don your favorite Jimmy Choos and sport a red lip! Date nights not only add spice to your marriage, but they also give your kids the security that Mom and Dad value time alone together. Date night out not an option? Order Chinese takeout and binge watch your favorite Netflix show after the kids have drifted off to dreamland.
Journal
Journaling is one of the simplest ways to preserve memories. By jotting down how you spend your time, you can observe what your priorities are and how you relate to those you’re closest to. Looking for specific ideas or writing prompts? Check out specific journals, such as gratitude journals or a kid quote book (made for writing the adorable things your kids say).
Get Moving
We all start January with the best fitness intentions, whether it’s aiming to walk off the holiday pounds or bounce back to pre-baby weight. Working out can be hard to prioritize if it feels punitive or unenjoyable. Think outside the box and bring fun into your fitness routine. Join a curling team, take karate classes or sign up for salsa dancing.
Say No
Saying no to unnecessary activity can be one of the kindest things you do for your family and yourself. You can serve in many admirable causes—PTA functions, Boy Scout fundraisers, or coaching your child’s sports team—but if you say yes to everything, you’ll not only be frazzled and exhausted, but you won’t be able to give your best in each endeavor. By limiting your yesses, you ensure each one produces quality engagement and commitment.
Lauren Greenlee is a boy mom of three who considers journaling, jogging and jamming to good tunes her greatest forms of stress relief. She writes from her Olathe home.