Sixteen years have melted away since motherhood planted itself firmly into my heart, wrapped its tendrils around my soul and lovingly commandeered my life. I’m amazed at how much I’ve learned in such a short space of time, but I also know raising two boys to develop into responsible, generous and kind young men is a daily education and a work in progress. Nonetheless, here are a few golden lessons I’ve chalked up so far that I can share with you …
- When you are mired in sick days, feeling unappreciated and bone-tired, remember that tomorrow is a new day.
- Every mom needs a “been-there, done-that” seasoned mom in her life to help put parenthood into perspective, calm anxieties or provide resources.
- The ring of dirt left around the bathtub after evening baths is a tell-tale sign that your child had a top-10 day.
- Keep a quotes journal for the funny, sweet and poignant things your child says.
- The $100 interactive dinosaur exhibit isn’t nearly as fun as the free model train exhibit.
- When your child presents you with a handful of sweaty, wilting dandelions, they become your favorite flowers.
- Kids will forget their backpacks, socks and coats, but they’ll never forget a promise you regret making three days and 21 hours ago.
- It’s okay if your son doesn’t like sports.
- Keep your favorite photo of your child nearby to remind you of his inherent sweetness, especially for those moments when he’s acting like the ultimate punk.
- Hugs make everything better. The run, tackle, squeeze hug nearly knocks me off my feet every time.
- annaSitting in a bathroom in the middle of the night with the shower running to create steam helps a baby suffering with croup. The steam is also a great way to get a 3:00 a.m. facial.
- annaLittle boys’ pockets contain a treasure-trove of discoveries.
- annaIf you’re like me, the first time your child says he loves you, takes a step or rides a bike without training wheels, you’ll cry.
- annaYou’ll discover which of your children has the worst gag reflex when you bring home a new puppy who gets really sick in his crate.
- annaA parenting strategy that works with one child might not work with another.
- annaIf you want an honest opinion, ask your child. Chances are he’ll tell you anyway.
- annaTeaching kids to say please and thank you matters.
- annaTalking with and listening to your kids matters, too.
- annaFollow your instincts. The pediatrician isn’t always right. Find a new one if he blows you off or is condescending.
- annaThe best time to find out about your child’s day is during car rides, when he doesn’t want to eat his dinner, or bedtime.
- annaYou may have to ask for your meal to go sometimes, but taking your children to family-friendly restaurants helps them learn social graces and boundaries in public places.
- annaWhen stuck in an airplane with a toddler in meltdown mode, sometimes the only thing you can do is pretend you don’t know him.
- annaMud, dirt and boxes provide hours of entertainment.
- annaExperiences are more valuable than stuff.
- annaYou won’t be the first parent to pick up your wailing child and abandon your shopping cart in the middle of the store.
- annaLearn together and take as many opportunities as possible to explore science, nature, music and art.
- annaPlay board games and cards together. Not only will your children learn math and reading skills, they will learn how to win and lose gracefully.
- annaParent time-outs can help you remain calm, cool and collected in a heated moment.
- annaCounting together backwards from 20 helps an upset child (and parent) calm down.
- annaTake walks with your child. Walking side by side encourages conversation.
- annaIncentives and rewards work for kids … and parents.
- annaGoing outside for a breath of fresh air while your spouse takes over the bedtime routine is a sanity saver on rough days.
- annaA glass of wine works, too.
- annaAnd chocolate. Dark. For your heart.
- annaScheduling time just for you isn’t selfish. Self-care makes you a better parent.
- annaPursuing personal interests and goals teaches your children that care-taking is only one of your roles.
- annaShare your interests with your child.
- annaFind a trustworthy, dependable sitter your children like. Breaks are healthy for both you and your children.
- annaSpending time with your spouse making dinner and watching a movie after the kids go to bed is almost as fun as a night on the town.
- annaLittle boys think it’s fun to sneak up on you and scare you. But if they truly catch you unprepared and you scream, you might make them cry.
- annaSave the notes your child writes you.
- annaWrite notes to your child.
- annaWarming up to sing opera in the middle of the grocery store will turn spotlight-averse fighting siblings into model citizens almost immediately.
- annaTeach your child that it’s perfectly acceptable to spend a little time alone to brood, create, read, pray and rest.
- annaBoo-boos don’t hurt as much when you stick an Avengers Band-Aid on them.
- annaNurture your children’s interests. Even if they seem a little unusual.
- annaKids are curious. Be curious, too.
- annaBegin and end every day with a hug and a kiss.
- annaForgive yourself. Parenting is tough, and sometimes you do and say the wrong thing.
- annaEvery child has the potential to change the world. Your child already changed yours.
Writer Christa Melnyk Hines resides in Olathe with her family, including a golf-impassioned husband, two busy boys and a lovable mutt.