Dear Teachers Q & A

Know What Is Going on with Your Children’s Life at School

Parents: Aim for a middle ground in your involvement in your children’s education. You want to avoid being a helicopter parent overseeing every aspect of their education. On the other hand, avoid the other extreme of not being involved at all in their education. They need your help in so many ways. One thing is certain: Your involvement in your children’s education will need to change as they advance from preschool and into high school and even college.

No matter where your children are in school, especially now at the start of this new school year, be careful not to set up unrealistic expectations. Doing so may make your children feel like failures for not meeting your expectations. Realistically, a child who has been a good, but not outstanding student, should not be expected to transform immediately to a shining academic star. And the student who has always been in the chorus may not suddenly become a soloist. This is not to say dramatic changes won’t happen—many children start enjoying greater success the older they get. And it often takes boys longer than girls to get into the academic swing at school.

Absolutely Necessary Involvement

            First of all, two events at the start of the school year are critical for you to attend. The first one is back-to-school night. This is your chance to get a close look at your children’s teachers, as well as the school environment. You will be able to get a good picture of what their teachers are like. You’ll see whether they’re likely to be demanding, supportive or a good personality fit for your children. Plus, in most cases, you will discover how teachers want to be contacted and receive a brief survey of what your children will be studying in the coming year. You are also likely to get an overview of teachers’ policies on such things as homework and assignment deadlines. This quick meeting with your children’s teachers will give you an idea of how the year is probably going to go for your children. Plus, this bird’s eye view of teachers will lead to more meaningful conversations when you are talking with your children about what is going on at school. Incidentally, this is not the time to waylay the teacher to talk about your children individually.

            Sometime during the fall semester, parent/teacher conferences are likely to be held. This is the second must-go-to event. Traditionally, conferences have been the time to find out how your children have been doing and to discuss any questions you may have about their progress, as well as to make plans for any additional help they may need. Be sure to get input from your children about anything they might like you to discuss with their teachers before the conference. In the early grades, the conference is likely to be one-on-one with an individual teacher. In middle school, you may meet for a brief time with each teacher your children have. Whatever the format, it is the time to establish a relationship with your children’s teachers. This is truly a very important feature of these conferences for both teachers and parents.

            A new type of conference has emerged in recent years: one conducted by the student, which is more common in middle school than elementary school. It is often done with advisors or counselors rather than individual teachers. Students are typically given a framework that will help them lead the conference. They will review how they are doing in each class (successes and problems), as well as show samples of their work.

More Ways Parents Need to Be Involved

            From the first day your children enter school, especially in the early years, you want to have a special time with them every day in which you look over their work together and talk about the school day. As your children get older, this conversation can move to the family dinner table, where all family members can talk about how their day went. Perhaps, the children will talk about an exciting thing they learned, a funny event in a classroom or the difficulty of a particular class. What is important is that you are communicating with them about their education.

            Finally, there are two additional ways to be involved in your children’s education. If time permits, you can volunteer in some activity where the school needs help. Some possibilities are assisting in the library, a classroom, a sporting or theater event or the lunchroom. This will give you a good picture of how the school operates and how the students behave. Another obvious way to be involved in your children’s education is by joining the Parent/Teacher Association and attending meetings.

Parents should send questions and comments to DearTeacher@DearTeacher.com, and visit the DearTeacher.com website to learn more about helping their children succeed in school.

            ©Compass Syndicate Corporation, 2023

As always, please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns.