Thanksgiving Hacks

“Remember that each family has their own unique hurdles to jump across regardless of how it's presented on social media.”

It’s that time of year again! Time to be thankful and create all the warm family memories! Now, how do we go about this without being stressed out, snapping at our families for whom we are so grateful or forgetting one of the many timers for one of the many dishes we’re attempting to serve?

First, let’s take a deep breath. Think about what is important to you about the Thanksgiving holiday and check in with your family about what makes it feel like Thanksgiving to them. If no one really cares for turkey, why stress out about when to purchase, thaw and cook this bird? It’s your family’s holiday, so you get to decide whether you’d rather prepare and eat ham, roast, or stick with apps, sides and desserts only. Or if the sweet potato casserole you remember your great-aunt bringing but no one actually eating, you don’t have to continue serving it just because it’s been a part of your family’s Thanksgiving tradition for years. You have permission to shake things up—you can blame or thank me!

Secondly, a well laid plan always helps. Start by answering all the easy questions, like who is coming, where you are having dinner, what day and time work for your family, and then move on to the menu and activities. Also, remember that each family has its own unique hurdles to jump regardless of how things are presented on social media. If you live near most of your family, that can be wonderful but also stressful if you have to coordinate your plans to attend several holiday meals. In the end, it’s up to you to determine what you’re capable of and willing to do. If you’d prefer to attend or host one dinner, make that known. If you’re up for and enjoy bopping around to several different dinners, make those plans known so expectations are clear. For instance, maybe you can do appetizers or a lunch one day and a dinner or just desserts the other. On the other hand, if you live out of town, plan for when you will be able to come to town and what you’re realistically able to bring to dinner. There’s nothing wrong with picking up a store or restaurant purchased side, salad, rolls or pie. If you want to disguise it, you can even bring along your own dish to transfer it to. After all, dinner should be more about gathering people you love than the food you eat, and knowing your limits when traveling with small children and staying in a hotel is imperative. Our amazing editor, Margaret Sarver, admits, “True story, I’ve never had to prepare a Thanksgiving meal. In fact, the closest I get to contributing to our celebration is ordering pies.” But I bet her family still looks forward to those pies making an appearance!

Now, time to determine and delegate what’s for dinner. I assume most people enjoy bringing something to add to dinner or at least don’t mind when they’re asked to contribute something. Giving more specific requests can actually help guests narrow down what they would like to bring and ensure there aren’t three green bean casseroles for dinner. Communication is always the key to success, right? Lori Tate, mother of three, says, “When we host for our extended family, I always ask them to bring specific foods that are their signature dishes that everyone loves. I also tell them what I am making, and if they want to bring anything else to just let me know.” If you are hosting and preparing the main dish of turkey or whatever your family serves, then focus on that and making your home a welcoming place for guests to come and relax. Or if cooking a turkey is completely overwhelming to you, delegate that to your dad who wants to smoke or deep fry the bird! Let him! Or if no one wants to step up because no one has had much experience with it, there is definitely the option of having part of the meal—or even the whole thing—catered! Many grocery stores and restaurants offer this service, and it’s an awesome way to have your traditional dinner and have more time to focus on enjoying your guests, especially if you aren’t able to see them very often. Think of it as supporting and stimulating the local economy. 

Our family has moved out of state several times, and one time we moved the week before Thanksgiving away from all of our family. At the time, we had three kids 5 and under and were in the midst of unpacking all the boxes, so we ordered our Thanksgiving dinner from Hy-Vee. It was amazing! It was just the feeling of home we needed to enjoy the holiday without the additional hassle. Stacy Marvin, mother of two, agrees: “Last year we ordered our whole meal from Madison Meat and Deli, and it was amazing, and I didn’t have to cook or clean anything!” Amanda Wetterson, mother of two, recommends backwards planning like all parents are well accustomed to. “Make yourself a game plan by starting at mealtime and working backwards based on cook and prep times of what you're making. Like 8:00 a.m. put the turkey in the oven, 8:20 prep pies, etc. Don't forget to schedule wiggle room and time to shower and pull yourself together!”

As for Thanksgiving hacks, the mom squad has stepped up and offered many great tips to make your holiday a success.

• “Always brine the turkey the night before and cook it in a paper bag. It takes three hours from cold oven to carving,” says Megan Knox, mother of two.
• Sarah Lyons, mother of six, has a lot of great tips! “I make my gravy ahead of time and put it in a crock pot, so I don’t have to stand there stirring it in a pan while our food gets cold. I make a lot of things ahead—all casseroles, pies, are made the day before. I make the mashed potatoes and put in a casserole dish, so I can just put it in the oven to warm up the day we host.”
• Lyons offers another genius tip: “I also use a big countertop turkey roaster for the turkey, so my oven is free for everything else. After you carve the turkey, put the carcass right back into the roaster, fill with water and let it simmer on low for a few hours. Then you will have turkey broth for turkey noodle soup the next day.” Allyce Trusheim, mother of two, seconds the roaster: “I bought an electric roaster last year and it was amazing! The turkey was delicious and I had the oven free to bake the sides.”
• Ask people to bring side dishes, so you only have to make the meat.
• Roll a piece of butcher paper onto the table. Let the kids color on it and guests can write what they are thankful for.
• Keep all your recipes and notes for next time in a big holiday binder, so you can just pull it out and reference it next time.” 
• Katie Bland, mother of two, has another option for keeping the oven open. “Our favorite hack is to barbecue your turkey! It’s easy, creates a juicy turkey, and it keeps your oven open for everything else!” Barbecue is always acceptable in KC, right?
• Alli Stevick, mother of two, is another believer in preparing as much ahead of time as possible. She also keeps it real and adds, “We bake dinner rolls the day or two before, too. (Rhodes frozen rolls are easy and good!) Any cold dishes (cranberry salad, lettuce salad, fruit bowl, relish tray, deviled eggs, etc.) are usually done in between getting the other things ready or are brought to the host house by visiting family. And for my super-duper extra picky (and usually overstimulated by the special-day activity) kids, we make sure there’s fruit and maybe even something like grilled cheese or hot dogs, because they don’t like a lot of the amazing foods that people typically eat at Thanksgiving.”

If the holidays are still looking a bit different than they used to with all that’s going on in the world, Tate, has a great outlook. “This past year was a first for us as we celebrated just the five of us,” she says. “I wanted to have all the traditional food but also knew it would be too much food. So I asked what everyone’s favorite side dish was and focused on those only. We also just smoked a couple of turkey breasts in the smoker when it was just the five of us.”

Finally, remember that it’s just a day, it’s just a meal, it’s just a holiday, and it’s supposed to be a time to gather and be grateful. So as with any family function or dinner guests, remember to be flexible, expect some sort of change of plans, and keep your sense of humor handy like Karen Hepp, mother of four, who recommends, “The best advice is to fully baste yourself and the bird in a good white wine ... nothing else matters! Bon appetite!”

            Stephanie Loux is the mother of Layla, 11, Mason, 9, and Slade, 6, and fondly recalls holidays as a kid but mostly remembers her grandpa’s homemade rolls as her favorite part of dinner.