Surviving Newborn Isolation
Feeling like you are closed inside four walls and barely able to find time to shower? Those first days when hubby goes back to work, family leaves and friends are off following their own agendas can leave you feeling isolated. It doesn’t help that you can’t squeeze into your favorite jeans yet and putting on makeup seems a chore.
This is when you need to remember why you are here, alone with this squirming, beautiful creature. You went through the nine months feeling him or her kick and wiggle, and now her tiny body is swaddled and breathing in your lap. Make a conscious effort to know how lucky you are and what a miracle this all is.
In these days of iPhones and Zooming, staying in touch is much easier than ever. And grandparents, your best friend and sisters adore seeing every tiny antic performed by your baby, so don’t hesitate to call them when you feel the walls close in.
Having a new baby in the middle of COVID-19’s shutdown of normalcy is no small thing. When you’d naturally be going to the coffee shop or grocery store with your baby, now ordering Uber Eats and having groceries delivered is on the day’s agenda. Some new moms even are fearful of going to postnatal doctor appointments for vaccines and well checks. Don’t do this—those vaccines are vital! Hand sanitizer, a mask and disinfecting wipes are your close defensive allies now, and doctors have protocols in place so you either wait in your car for your appointment, or they whisk you quickly into a private room.
People naturally thrive with connection and social support, so it is important to get teletherapy with a trained perinatal practitioner and join an online support group. When your tears are flowing too often, tune into yourself. Turn Alexa to the happy tunes, get some sunshine on your face and hold that baby close. Look at what is right in front of you. Try not to look too far forward or back—just do what you can today and know that is enough. Even if it is just changing out of your pajamas or getting a load of laundry done!
My daughter has two boys under the age of 3, and she told me, “Mom, even if it’s not folded, it’s clean!”
Ideas to truly enjoy your new baby
- Remember, asking for help does not make you needy or incompetent.
- Never let guilt or embarrassment or even your ego get in the way of accepting help.
- Babies don’t really need as many new clothes and things as you think. They outgrow everything, so don’t go overboard on all the cutesy, expensive clothes. Items such as swings and bouncy seats are used for such short periods, consider borrowing from a friend or look online for gently used items.
- Figure out how to get your baby to go to sleep, stay asleep and take regular naps quickly, so you can avoid becoming sleep-deprived yourself. Avoid feeding your baby to put him to sleep or that will become a crutch for you—and him. Turn Baby’s room in a sleep haven, with blackout shades and a white-noise machine, and avoid catnaps throughout the day. This way, naps will be more consistent and bedtime will be easier.
- Avoid comparing your little one to other babies. All children develop at different rates, so if Sandy’s babe is crawling and saying “mama” while your child is just now rolling over, don’t stress. If you are truly concerned, talk to your pediatrician.
- Although there is nothing better than holding, cuddling and carrying your baby, remember, you both need some alone time. If he is screaming and you are at your wits end, hand him off to Daddy or simply lay that little body in the crib and walk away for a minute or so. Your baby is safe, and it is ok to take time for yourself so you can be there for your baby.
- The best baby stage is the one you are currently in. It is true, they grow up so very fast. Cherish and enjoy the time you spend with your child. Take time each day, real time, to hold your little one and do nothing else but use your senses to connect with him. Smell that baby sweetness and look at those tiny fingers and toes and amazing tiny nose!
- Remember, you are you. You do the best you can, and no one knows your baby like you do. If at the end of the day your child has laughed and is clean and fed, you can go to sleep knowing you did what you are supposed to. Be proud that you are perfecting this mommy thing!
An avid outdoors girl, Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.
Sources: WeForum.org, Parenting.com