To Know or Not to Know
I can’t take suspense. I wish I could but it’s just not one of my strong suits. When my husband and I were dating in college, we knew within a few months that we would get married. Early on into our dating relationship, most of our conversations centered around getting married and establishing a life together. So it’s fair to say I was not at all surprised when my knight in shining armor popped the question- I saw that coming for quite some time. What really impressed me was the fact that he was able to plan a unique and memorable way to propose without my knowledge (especially when we had spent so much time together and I had rather forwardly probed to know details about what he thought an ideal way to ask for one’s hand in marriage would look like!). Looking back, I would give my brash young self a good talking to! A lesson in patience and self-control would have served me well. But, what can I say? I’m a planner and an idealist, both necessitating a need to know what’s to come!
I guess it should come as no surprise that with all my pregnancies, I’ve desperately wanted to know the gender of my babies as soon as possible. Having full knowledge of what we were having meant I had the green light to establish a registry, pick a nursery theme, but more importantly, call our little one by name while still in utero. I just assumed with technology being what it is that most everyone would opt to know the gender of their baby, too. It’s come as a big surprise that many moms within my social circle have waited until their babies were born to find out! That kind of suspense would kill me, but I have full respect for families that opt to go that route. And, no matter which way you slice it, it’s a surprise whether you find out at a 20-week sonogram or at delivery. They just come at different times!
Pros and cons abound whether you find out the gender of your little one during pregnancy or hold out for a big surprise in the end. Here are just a few.
Pros to Finding Out
- No need to wait until baby is born to build its wardrobe!
- No gender neutral baby shower or nursery theme necessary- unless you want to!
- Simply focus on picking a name for one gender instead of both
- Call the baby by its name, and have that bond, before delivery
- You can prepare siblings for whether they are having a brother or a sister
- An extra reason to celebrate can be in order (hosting a gender reveal party allows guests in on an opportunity to rejoice over your big news)
Pros to Waiting
- Suspense builds for the ultimate surprise (many a mom craves to hear the doctor or her spouse shout “It’s a…!” upon delivery)
- Gives friends and family an opportunity to make predictions
- It’s the way it’s been done for centuries!
- Sonograms can be wrong (yes, it still has been known to happen)
- That surprise can be just the motivation needed to endure the last stretch of pregnancy
Of course, several middle ground options are available, too!
- Find out as a couple, but keep it a surprise for everyone else until the baby’s born
- Between you & your spouse, one of you can find out while the other awaits a surprise
- Have the sonographer write the gender and place it inside a sealed envelope, only to open if you feel like it.
- Find out but keep the name a surprise, only to announce after the baby is born.
What about you? What have you opted to do?