When Is It Time to Lose the Pacifier or Stop the Thumb?

Most babies and toddlers use them. Whether they call them a pacifier, paci, bobo, binky—or just use their own thumb—little ones find comfort in sucking on them. Sucking is a normal reflex that soothes babies. It can help them go to sleep on their own and calm them when they’re upset, which is always welcome to new parents. But when is it time to wean your child? And how should you do it?

The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry (AAPD) says most children will stop using a pacifier or sucking their thumb on their own between the ages of 2 and 4, but they recommend intervention for children over 3 years old. Using a pacifier can affect the growth of the jaw and the way a child’s teeth bite together. Upper teeth may also begin to top outward or become crooked. This can be fixed with braces, but it could also cause speech problems or a lisp.

Thumbs are free, easy to use and always safe. The only issue is you can’t take them away. If you have an option when your child is born, the AAPD recommends a pacifier over a thumb to comfort babies since a pacifier habit is easier to break at an early age. However, offering a pacifier is not always a choice, as some babies start sucking their thumb in the womb. Danielle Hewitt, a mother from St. Joseph, says her 3-year-old daughter has always sucked her thumb, but she sleeps well on her own because sucking her thumb keeps her comforted. It also gives Hewitt signs that her daughter is feeling shy or tired. “I think it will be hard for her to stop, because you can’t take it away like a pacifier,” she says.

A few tips for weaning from thumb sucking include positive reinforcement, like a sticker chart or praise when your child doesn’t suck his thumb, wearing special nighttime gloves, finding a special blanket or lovey to help soothing instead of thumb sucking, or asking your pediatric dentist for a mouth guard. There are also several products you can purchase to prevent thumb sucking. Thumb sucking guard gloves are available for purchase, as well as solutions like Nixxit and Control-It that have a bad flavor that helps deter kids from thumb sucking. Another option would be a home remedy of soaking the thumb in apple cider vinegar to make the fingers taste bitter.  

Sometimes giving up the pacifier can be tougher for the parents than the children. That was the case with my children. My husband and I relied on it to soothe both our daughters while on car rides and when going to sleep. If they were fussy, the pacifier was a quick and easy way to calm them down immediately. However, there were a few downsides. We were constantly losing and buying new pacifiers. We also had to have one on us at all times. I felt reliant on it in case we were out and she needed to be soothed. We also found ourselves looking for the pacifier in the middle of the night and putting it back in the baby’s mouth, so she would go back to sleep. We decided to slowly wean at the age of 1. We couldn’t believe how painless it was! One major factor was our daycare was on the same page and took away the pacifier at the same time we did.

Amber Pinson, a mom of three from St. Joseph, also slowly weaned one of her children. “We gradually took away the pacifier,” she says. “We gave it to our child at nap time and bedtime since it was what soothed him. We started taking it out of his mouth when he fell asleep at nap time and eventually at nap time altogether. Once he no longer needed it for naps, we did the same for bedtime.”

Krystina Huff, another mother of three from St. Joseph, says each of her three children were different. “I was able to convince my oldest child that pacifiers were for babies, and she could gift them to a baby. My middle child was much harder to convince, so we cut holes and created imperfections in the nipple so he wouldn’t want it anymore,” she says. “With our youngest, we went cold turkey and just took it away. It was rough for a couple of nights, but then he got over it.”

Katie Heitman, a Spring Hill, Kansas, mother of one, says she had friends who threw pacifiers out the window when their child had fits. “Another friend gave them to Santa in exchange for an extra gift in return,” she says.

SIDE BARS

TIPS TO KICK THUMB SUCKING:

• Positive reinforcement tools like a sticker chart.
• Praise kids when they aren’t sucking their thumb. Don’t criticize when they are.
• Special gloves or a thumb guard to wear at nighttime.
• Teaching them about the germs on their hands.
• Cover their thumb with a bitter solution like apple cider vinegar.
• Offer alternatives like a stuffed animal or special blanket to comfort them.

TIPS TO DITCH THE PACIFIER:

• Limit the pacifier to the crib only.
• Cut a hole in the pacifier and tell your child it’s broken.
• Set a date to graduate from using the pacifier and become a big kid.
• Tell your kids you lost the pacifier.
• Let your child trade her pacifiers for a big kid toy of her choice.
• Have the Paci Fairy take it and leave him with a toy instead.
• Read books to your child about giving up the pacifier. Some suggestions are Bye Bye Binky by Little Hippo Books, Pacifiers Are Not Forever by Elizabeth Verdick, No More Pacifier, Duck by Michael Dahl and The Paci Fairy by Melissa Burnett.

Regan Lyons is a girl mom and freelance writer. She lives with her husband, Cale, and daughters, Atley, 9, and Ensley, 3, in St. Joseph.