30 Days to a Healthier Social Life

Reviving a withering social network or starting fresh in a new community isn’t easy for any busy mom, but the importance of developing social connections can’t be underestimated. Women who feel a balanced sense of connection are healthier and more resilient to stress and anxiety. Take charge of your interpersonal interactions with one small step a day to create a more energizing, fulfilling social life.

1. Contact a mothers group. Ask to attend a meeting as a guest. Put the date on the calendar and schedule a sitter if necessary.
2. Call an old friend. Reconnecting can help you rebuild your confidence as you start meeting new moms.
3. Email a mom you’d like to get to know better. Arrange a meet-up time for both of you and your kids for a playdate at the park or the mall play area.
4. Send a Facebook friend request to a mom you’ve met recently.
5. Evaluate your schedule and answer a volunteer request. Want to get to know lots of members fast? Volunteer for a leadership position.
6. Meet the family down the street. Bring cookies and head over with your kids to introduce yourselves.
7. Kids are great icebreakers. Strike up a conversation with another mom at the park. Just a casual conversation with another adult can boost your spirits.
8. Send a card to a friend to let her know you’re thinking about her or call just to chat.
9. Join an online moms group. Reaching out to other moms online who can relate to your situation can help you feel less isolated.
10. Text a friend with a new baby. Remember how hard those first few weeks are? Coordinate a time to stop by with a meal.
11.  Are your children in school? Invite other classroom moms to a “seasoned moms” lunch.
12.  Sign up for a yoga, Zumba or Jazzercise class. The exercise will give you energy and boost your mood. The group fitness experience will help you feel a sense of connection to others with similar goals.
13.  Time for girls night out! You may feel a little tired the next day, but recalling all the laughs is sure to put a spring in your step.
14.  Does someone in your life zap your energy? (And, no, your kids don’t count!) Consciously begin to move away from draining, one-sided friendships.
15.  Beware of overcommitting yourself. Say no to whatever isn’t a priority or doesn’t interest you. You’ll do yourself and your family a favor.
16.  Make a list of your favorite forgotten pastimes.
17.  Carve out 15 or 20 minutes in your day to pursue one of those hobbies. Check out the latest trends with your hobby on Pinterest or your favorite social network.
18.  Start a walking group with a friend or two. Walking and talking for an hour is great exercise and like free therapy!
19.  Moms know the 4:00 to 6:00 “witching hour” is rough when everyone is tired, hungry and cranky. Invite other moms for a two-hour afternoon playdate and dinner. Order pizza and ask everyone to bring a side dish such as a salad, dessert and juice boxes for the kids. Dinner done, kids sleep well, and you get a quiet evening ahead!
20.  Plan a morning at the zoo or the children’s museum with your kids and invite other moms to join you.
21.  Check out the library for upcoming talks, book clubs and other activities. Attend a few discussions to meet other people with shared interests.
22.  Organize a game night or book club with a few women you’d like to get to know better.
23.  Feel roadblocked by cliquey moms? Reach out to a receptive member of the group. If she is on the PTA/PTO, ask how you can get involved. Don’t be pushy and do watch your body language. Averting eye contact, crossing your arms and hiding in a corner with your cell phone can signal a lack of interest in connecting. And, remember, many moms aren’t cliquey.
24.  Schedule a manicure/pedicure morning out with a friend.
25.  Find a sitter and schedule a date night with your spouse. Get dressed up and head somewhere nice. Feeling sociable? Invite another couple to join you.
26.  Invite your neighbors for a backyard barbecue. Have outdoor games like badminton, horseshoes, volleyball, chalk, bubbles and hula hoops available for the kids to play together.
27.  Support a friend who sells makeup, jewelry, cookware or candles by accepting an invitation to one of the parties. Go with a budget and enjoy some time hanging out with other women.
28.  Need a break? Acknowledge when life is getting too busy and take a few hours to do something on your own––head to a pottery place and paint while you sip coffee, go clothes shopping or take in a movie.
29.  Spending time with other families is fun, but set aside an afternoon for just you and your kids. Head to the park for a picnic lunch, watch a movie together, play a board game, try ice-skating or go bowling.
30.  Regroup with your family around the dinner table. Communication builds stronger families. Talk about your day’s highs and lows, frustrations and successes.

    Freelance writer Christa M. Hines resides in Olathe with her husband, two teenaged sons and one very spoiled rescue puppy.