How Rhythms Help Moms

As parents, our lives are ruled by routines. We have a bedtime routine, naptime routine, mealtime routine and, likely, hundreds of others. Whether you realize it or not, you may also have rhythms.

Rhythms are things that trigger other things. They are fluid actions throughout the day that allow one task to flow into the next. While routines are strict, rhythms are natural. Routines are made to feel organized and punctual. But a good rhythm feels effortless.

And isn’t that what every parent wants—effortless flow throughout the day?

What Is a Rhythm?

When you wake up, you turn on the coffee maker and let the dog out. While the dog is outside you grab an ice pack out of the freezer and put it in the lunch box on the counter. Next, you put the lunch into your child’s backpack. By now, the dog is finished outside, so you let him in. Once you’re done doing those things, the coffee is warm. All of your actions roll together, with each one triggering the next. The signal for packing your child’s lunch was turning on the coffee maker, which triggered letting the dog out, which in turn, cued putting the ice pack in the lunch box.

Thus a simple—but necessary—morning rhythm is born.

In a short amount of time you completed three tasks: set up coffee, let the dog out and put together your child’s lunch. These are automatic triggers. Turning on the coffee maker starts the day, then reminds you to let the dog out. Letting the dog back inside means the coffee must be ready to enjoy.

Most likely, you already implement rhythms. They make our days run so much more smoothly. They are adapted to serve you and your entire household. Every person, no matter their season or life stage, can benefit from a good rhythm. They don’t help only parents, they do wonders for kids, too!

Rhythms and Kids

Rhythms help tired mamas all day long, but especially with the known pain points of each day—bath, bed, meals, getting out the door, playtime, etc. They help kids know what’s next and begin to anticipate the change in activity. Children can be gently eased into things they may not necessarily enjoy by rhythms. As a result, transitions occur with a little less pushback—we all hope!

Plenty of people abide by a schedule. Everyone has routines to help accomplish tasks. And adults and children both tend to be schedule oriented. But according to Waldorf principles, rhythms help children more clearly understand the time of day. This is because they encourage predictability.

At 1:00 in the afternoon, your children know what happens when you dim the lights and shut the blinds—even if you haven’t told them it’s naptime. They know it’s dinner when their sibling puts a plate on their highchair. They know bath time is approaching if pajamas are on the bathroom counter. They know to take their water bottle to the park if it’s sitting on the stairs when they put their shoes on.

Because children can’t easily grasp the concept of time, it might be difficult for them to understand when you say words like tomorrow or last week. These phrases feel vague to them. This is why, when we speak to younger children about time, it’s often paired with events they’re familiar with. Some examples? We will go to the park after lunch. You have soccer before dinner. Your birthday is right after Christmas. We will go to Grandma’s on the Fourth of July.

Implementing Rhythms

Make rhythms work for you! They are best used during times that need flexible structure. Rhythms are not set in stone. In fact, tailoring them to the age or season you are in can feel even more effective. They are meant to change and naturally adapt to fit your days. Not the other way around.

Is naptime a struggle? Try gearing up for it sooner with some visual rhythms for your child. Play some calm-down music as you pick up toys before naps. Picking up the toys could be the calm but active movement your kiddos need to get their wiggles out before settling down in bed.

Don’t overcomplicate things. What you’re trying to create is peace and fluidity within your day. Rhythms shouldn’t add stress or time to your life. In fact, they should do just the opposite!

A good rhythm is a simple rhythm. 

Helpful Rhythms

Though every family is different, parents usually have the most difficulties around meals, playtime and rest time. Moms often look for a series of rigid schedule changes to flip the switch on these difficult transitions. What they really need are simple rhythms!

For all children, but especially those who are younger, you might consider the following questions to help you better implement rhythms:

• Getting ready: How do they know when to get dressed? How do they know what to wear?
• Eating: When do they eat? What do they do beforehand? What do they do when they’re done?
• Playing: How do they know when it’s time to clean up? How do they know if you’re playing with them or if you expect them to play independently?
• Rest time: What are some things they always do before bed? How do they know when to get out of bed?

What works for one person or household may not work for the next, so find what works best for you and yours. Then try it out for a little bit. If the changes don’t work over a period of trial time, then throw them out the window! Try another and another, until you find the sweet spot. They shouldn’t feel abrupt or forced. Remember: Simple, smooth and natural are key.

Many times with young and busy kids, rigid routines don’t stand the test of time. Someone gets sick. Work schedules change. Kids grow out of a nap. Having rhythms set as anchors throughout your day instills a sense of security and comfort in your child. In turn, everyone’s day runs a bit more smoothly. Hopefully, at least! 

Kailyn Rhinehart writes from Warrensburg, MO. She lives with her husband and two small children and would not be able to function without rhythms throughout her day.