A Letter to My Special Needs Children

Dear Children,

Next month, Mommy and Daddy are going to speak at church about what it’s like to have children with special needs. For Daddy, this brings up a whole string of emotions. Obviously because you kids are considered special needs, but also because Daddy and some other family members were, as well.

You see, kids, the world tries to put everything into a nice, neat category. Black/white, Republican/Democrat, atheist/agnostic/Christian/Jew, and then those are broken down even further into subcategories.

You children were born super early through no fault of your own, but it is something that directly influences almost every aspect of your lives. Because of this prematurity, you have certain disadvantages. You have very low functioning immune systems, and that’s why we go to the doctor every other week (not a joke).  Elizabeth has pretty severe asthma. Everyone’s speech is delayed, most especially Caleb’s. You all have sensory issues that cause meltdowns at the drop of a hat. Elizabeth and Caleb will each have surgery by the end of the year to correct more preemie issues.

Here’s the thing though: You all are too small and young to know that there is any difference between you and those around you.

One day, you’ll pick up on the rude comments and, hopefully, you will learn how to forgive and deal with them. But even when you do figure out that you are different, I want you to know that what the world tells you doesn’t matter. It truly does not. We are all equal in the eyes of God, and you children have just as much value in my eyes as anyone else. The thing that matters most in this world, children, is love. I want love to conquer any inferiorities that you might feel. People will try to put you in a box if you let them, but you have to choose whether or not to get in that box.

Your future successes and failures have nothing to do with the special needs that you were born with or the categories that others try to put you in. Decide what you want in life and pursue it.

I will always love you and be proud of you.

Love,

Daddy

Sean Ishum and his wife live in South KC with their 3-year-old quadruplets. All of their kids are currently working to overcome developmental delays and sensory issues due to premature birth. You can read more about their challenges and victories at www.ABeautifulRuckus.com.