Birthday Party Etiquette
Navigating the world of children’s birthday parties certainly can be overwhelming. Do I have to invite my kid’s entire classroom these days? I love the ease of Evite, but is it rude? I love that my child is invited to so many parties, but what if I don’t have the cash for all those birthday presents? Don’t worry, parents, because I have your road map for avoiding birthday etiquette potholes.
Happy birthday…to your kid!
Let’s start with whom to invite. Not everyone has the space/money to accommodate every child her kid wants to (or feels like she has to) invite. Find out the rule at your kid’s school for inviting politely (e.g., invite all the girls to a girl party, invite only who you want but send invitations discreetly and don’t blab about it, etc.). You always can give your child a set number you are willing to have at the party, then have her choose wisely.
Now that you have a number in mind, it’s time to hit the computer to set up that Facebook event and start inviting, right? Hold on a minute. Why don’t you instead you hit the party store with your little birthday munchkin and have him pick out some themed invitations he can either fill out himself or at least help decorate?
It’s up to you whether you want to send home goodie bags or favors with the kids. Maybe you can’t afford them or just think they are ecologically ridiculous. At one party my daughter attended, the girls painted wooden birdhouses to take home. If you just love putting together goodie bags, however, feel free to go all out!
To thank or not to thank? Snap a photo with the birthday child with each guest. Have it printed and place it in a thank you note that your child writes (or maybe he can just “sign” it if he’s too small).
Happy Birthday…to someone else’s kid!
It’s hard to watch your child get upset over not being invited to a party because, even as adults, we know how that feels. Explain to your child that maybe the parents of the birthday kid had to limit the number of guests and that it’s most likely nothing personal.
What if Audrey came to your daughter’s party recently, but now she can’t attend Audrey’s party? Friends, you have enough to worry about in your life without keeping track of this sort of thing. Please don’t worry about taking a gift anyway, unless you want to, unless this is a great friend of your child’s or unless you want to go broke.
If you have more kids than just the one who was invited, ask the birthday child’s parent if you can, for instance, just drop off an older kid for the party. The hostess might be okay with your bringing your entire brood, or it might make her uncomfortable to add more chaos to the party. Just ask beforehand so you don’t show up with your huge family when you only RSVP’d for one. That would be rude.
Kerrie McLoughlin is a seasoned mom of five who writes about her controlled household chaos at TheKerrieShow.com.