Mom Wisdom
When my oldest two were in kindergarten and preschool, I began reading the Little House on the Prairie series to them. It was a delightful experience, and over the course of two years we took in everything we could about Laura Ingalls Wilder and her family’s adventures. Very quickly into the book series, some astute observations were made. The first was that trouble and calamity always seemed to strike as soon as Pa left the house for some time. And second, Ma could, quite literally, make anything out of near nothing. It was as if she had the annals of Pinterest’s craft section somehow all tucked away under her bonnet. If her masterful needlework and cooking skills weren’t enough, she could be found giving gentle encouragement to her daughters or keeping the glass full amid difficult circumstances with one of her favorite sentiments: “All’s well that ends well”.
Whether you had a fantastic mother or perhaps other key women in your life who filled the matriarchal gap, chances are you’ve inherited some of their quirks and funny sayings. I’ll never forget the first time I found myself in the grocery store checkout lane with a busy toddler who wanted to grab a piece of candy “conveniently” stocked at his level. Without a thought, out flew the advice I had been told a thousand times as a child myself: “Look with your eyes but not your fingers!” No sooner had the words left my lips than the elderly woman in line behind me chuckled, “What a wonderful way to say, ‘Don’t touch!’”
I wanted to take credit for the expression but the reality was, it wasn’t an original thought. I was turning into my mother. At the time, I thought the only things I had inherited from my mom were her musical preferences (we always agreed which radio station to play in the car) and small fingers that made playing octaves on the piano nearly impossible. But since that moment in the grocery store, I have found that much of what I said that characterized my children’s early years is simply regurgitated wisdom passed down to me a generation before.
Wisdom comes with experience. When you first become a parent, you don’t have any parental wisdom to pull from. You have personal research and a mother’s intuition on your side. The rest is just made up as you go along. I think that may be why some of the best parenting advice out there doesn’t come from well-intentioned new mom forums or from one of the myriad parenting methodology books that abound these days. If anything, it’s put on display through the humble work of moms around us who don’t seek to draw attention to themselves. They’re the ones that tirelessly love hard, sacrifice big and acknowledge they’re not the end-all be-all to parenting wisdom.
The reality is there is no perfect mom—but, then again, nobody needs one! The impact of a life well lived—fully present—reaps dividends in future generations. So go be you, my friend! Be kind, be generous, be all in. You never know what advice your children may give to their own because you gave it first.
Lauren Greenlee is a freelance writer and an Olathe boy mom of three. For her first grade “What I Want to Be When I Grow Up” project, she aspired to be Laura Ingalls Wilder. When she realized that role was taken, she dreamed of being a mom.
The ladies of KC Parent share some of the wisdom they’ve learned from their Mothers and Grandmothers:
My mom always said, “If you have to do it anyway, you might as well do it cheerfully. (She’s always been great at walking that out and has been cheerful in the midst of many hard circumstances). ~ Maria Dean, wife of associate publisher Darrell Dean
My grandmother taught me many things: how to bake, how to cook bacon “without getting popped,” how to sneakily change the channel from western reruns when Grandpa dozed off without waking him, how to conquer my fear of swimming in the lake, how to serve, how to pray…I could go on. One of my earliest memories was memorizing her number and calling her to come and rock me after work. She was always there for me. And that is it…the greatest gift she gave was simply demonstrating unconditional, always and forever love. That is the gift and promise I want to pass on to my girls, always and forever love. ~ Kristina Light, digital media manager
My mom, Pauline Hawke, was a kind, compassionate and caring individual. When I look back on my childhood, she not only imparted many words of wisdom, but she lived out these principles beautifully. The one guiding principle my mom exuded was showing kindness to those she knew and those she did not. From the clerk at the grocery store, to the elderly lady across the street, to the service worker who would arrive at our house, my mom took a vested interest in them even if she would never see them again. My mom genuinely cared and encouraged us to do the same. ~ Susan Gimotty, owner and publisher
My mom has taught me so many lessons, but one important one is how to deal with tough times. My mom lost her mother due to a freak accident when I was just a few months old. A couple of years later, my brother was born with congenital heart failure and required many hospitalizations and surgeries throughout his life. And then a couple of years ago, she lost her husband very suddenly. Through it all, Mom remains one of the most positive and uplifting people I’ve ever met. She faces each challenge with grace and has tremendous faith that sustains her during the hard times. ~ Margaret Sarver, editor
Faithful is just one word that comes to mind when I think of my mom. My dad battled severe chronic health issues for 35 years, and Mom rose to every challenge as his faithful companion, counselor and caregiver. And while she cared for Dad, she faithfully parented my sister and me. Mom taught us, laughed with us, helped with homework, chaperoned sports trips, prepared for weddings and attended the birth of each of her 11 grandchildren, helping us navigate the new-baby fog each time. Through it all, she has modeled a tenacious faith whose first response to both crisis and joy is prayer. ~ Susan Crainshaw, copy editor