Simple Ways to Build Self-Esteem
Kids who feel good about themselves or have high self-esteem tend to be successful in a wide variety of areas, from school to relationships. On the other hand, kids who have lower self-esteem may not be as willing to try new things, may not stand up for themselves in difficult situations or may get their feelings hurt easily. What are some simple ways to build your child’s self-esteem and confidence?
Find their niche
We all have different interests and talents that bring us joy. If you can find the activity that most excites your child and encourage him to pursue it, you are providing opportunities that can build up his confidence and self-esteem. When considering which activities to try, think about the things your child seems to like doing. If your child enjoys drawing, enroll him in art classes or make art supplies available in your home. If kids enjoy sports, dance or martial arts, find a place where they can work at improving their skills. Doing things we are good at is fun boosts our confidence as well.
Let them make mistakes
Although this may seem counterintuitive, allowing your child to make mistakes, solve problems and even fail can help build her confidence. Working through their blunders teaches kids they can handle problems that may arise, and the experience takes away the fear of failure.
Teach them to choose
One of the easiest ways to build self-esteem is to allow your child to make his own choices. Allow tm him to choose the clothing he will wear, order his own food at a restaurant and decide when he will complete his schoolwork. As kids grow older, allowing this freedom becomes harder for parents, as the decisions will be more important and have larger stakes. But mastering decision-making only prepares them for the future and gives them confidence that they can make good decisions on their own.
Let them know you love them, no matter what
Everyone needs to know she has someone in her corner rooting for her through anything. Let your child know you love her, no matter what. Showing empathy and understanding as your child works through missteps that she makes demonstrates that you support her—even when she’s made a mistake. Show your child you love him, not just because of how he looks or what he does, but for who he is.
Praise when deserved
Building children’s self-esteem is more than just telling them how wonderful they are. If they do something great, let them know; however, constant or too-often-repeated praise loses its meaning. Dianne Grande, PhD, author of In it Together, suggests praising kids for their attributes rather than what they do: “This act has a very positive impact on self-esteem particularly when the praise is about general attributes, rather than specific accomplishments.” Grande suggests saying “I love your creativity” or “You are so responsible” because it reinforces that a child is whole and valued.
Confidence builds over time, and we can show our children each day that we trust them, love them and believe in them. This will build their self-esteem now and prepare them for future success.
Sarah Lyons is a part-time writer and full-time mom. She lives in Olathe with her family.
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