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Speed up the Dawdler

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During my time as an elementary teacher, I’ve worked with my share of dawdling kids. You know the ones: Nothing seems to get those little feet moving any faster no matter how many times you say, “Hurry up!” Because I tend to be an impatient person, the experience can be utterly frustrating.  So imagine my surprise when my firstborn came along and seemed to have no sense of urgency; rather, he seems to embrace the concept of stopping to smell the roses a little too much!

I’ve noticed that all my last-minute, harried prompts to rush a child don’t really help much. In fact, the more a person does it, the less kids seem to notice or respond to it!  Getting your crew out the door—and fully dressed and fed—can be tricky, so here are some tips to get everyone where they need to be on time:

  1. Plan ahead. Getting to bed on time the night before; prepping clothes, lunches and other supplies; and getting up on time are must-do’s when hoping to get out the door the next morning on time. If you find yourself stuck in a pattern of late a.m. departures, see what you can do the night before to set you and your family up for success!
  2. Set clear expectations. Take the time to discuss expectations with your children before you are in the heat of the moment. For example, the night before a school day, start talking about what you will do in the morning and what your child’s responsibilities are.  Discussing the morning routine before heading to bed means fewer last-minute surprises for your children and more time for them to process what the morning will look like.
  3. Explicitly teach and model your expectations. Adults often forget that children, especially younger ones, may not know exactly what we mean when we make a request or understand exactly how we want something done. Simply taking the time to clearly describe and do a task yourself will clarify your expectations. For example, model getting socks and shoes out and putting them on. Then, have your child practice following your example while you provide praise. Remind him that this is what you expect to see in the morning when you ask him again. Practicing often makes perfect!
  4. Timing is everything. Especially as you first begin teaching and practicing expectations, be sure to start getting ready to go a few minutes early. It’s not always possible, but if you can do it, it’s worth it.
  5. Keep consistent routines. This takes away any confusion about your expectations.  Once the getting-ready-to-go steps are done regularly, they become an automatic routine for your child! Children thrive on a consistent schedule. You want to avoid your routine being a harried morning with constant nagging; replace it with a calm routine where everyone knows what is expected.
  6. Provide your child with choices. Some days they don’t want to eat the breakfast you prepared or wear their jackets when it’s chilly. When I’m in a hurry, I tend to just grab something, and if my child doesn’t want my choice, a power struggle is likely to ensue. Instead, provide a choice between two options: “Which jacket do you want to wear today, the gray or blue one? Giving your children a voice and choice in the routine gives them some control and can eliminate arguing.
  7. Praise, encourage and prompt. Be specific with your praise and let your children know what they are doing well! “Good job getting your socks and shoes on! Now you need to go get your backpack.” Prompting with direct cues rather than nonspecific “hurry up” phrases sends a clearer, calmer message that your little ones are more likely to respond to.
  8. Create a checklist or visual prompts. Younger children may especially benefit from seeing and tracking the steps to get ready to go somewhere. Teach them how to use a checklist or create other visuals that outline the steps needed to get ready to go to school, church or practice.

Putting these steps in action can go a long way toward getting your family out the door on time and with less stress! Just remember, everyone has off days. When things aren’t going your way, remain calm, take a deep breath and refocus.

Get organized to save time!

Good organizational systems at home can support your routines. Set aside certain spots where your child can expect to do a task when leaving or arriving home. Use this short checklist to see whether you have common household areas set up to use with your child when practicing expectations:

Emily Cline lives in Lenexa with her husband, 4-year-old son and new baby girl.  She is an instructor of education at a local university and blogs about motherhood at EmilysLittleLoves.com.

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