Teaching Kids Kindness
My bad day was instantly made when a stranger bought my coffee in the Starbucks drive-through line one morning. Two years ago, the sweetest lady decided to pay for my groceries at Target because she "could just tell I was a good mom." Little did she know, I felt defeated that day, and those were the words I needed to hear. I've locked my keys in my car in a parking lot and had a gracious stranger with a shopping cart full of kids hand me her AAA card, no questions asked. In those moments, I realized the most important quality I could cultivate in my son: kindness.
It is never too soon to take the time to teach your children the importance of kindness. Small steps will make a big difference as they get older. You may want your son to be a doctor. You might always have envisioned him as a successful business owner. Maybe you dream of him joining the Kansas City Royals. No matter your wishes for your children, teach them to be the "helpers"—encourage them to brighten someone's day in the simplest ways. They might grow up to be the person who buys a stranger's groceries. The world needs more of that.
Use positive reinforcement
Start at home. Kids will model behavior, so begin by using kind words. Compliment your toddler's efforts. Say, "I noticed you tried really hard to pick all those toys up. Good job!" Tell a tot, "Thank you for holding my hand when we cross the street." Glance over at her in her car seat when you're at a stoplight and remind her, "You're being so patient!" Kids pick up on our encouraging tones and enthusiastic expressions. Validate them.
Combat littering
I love going for walks with my 4-year-old. One time while strolling through the neighborhood, I noticed and collected three stray nails. Tip: bring a plastic bag with you on your next walk to clean up what you find along the way. Your little one might notice your kind gesture each time and associate walks with clearing his path. The consistency will model the importance of being kind to our environment.
Share smiles
Not every day merits a great big smile, but sometimes we feel like sharing a smile with a stranger passing by or a close friend we've missed. Take the time to smile at strangers when you're at the store. Smile if the person at Walmart is taking too long in the aisle you need access to. Smile and laugh with your friends during playdates. Your little ones will pick up on the positive energy.
Explore empathy
Although empathy is tough to teach, it can be modeled. Practice sharing feelings with your older kids or teach all of the different facial expressions to your younger ones. Ask them what each expression represents and how it makes them feel. Reassure them it's okay to feel sad one day and happy or angry another.
Exchange compliments
Teachers can incorporate kindness into their curriculum by taking a few minutes each day to practice a compliment exercise. Have the students sit in a circle and toss a ball back and forth among the group. Each time a student catches it, she must think of one nice thing to say about the person who threw it. This teaches kids to look for the best in each other.
Write a thank you note
Practice writing thank you notes with your kiddos, even your toddlers. Maybe you want to thank a teacher or a police officer. Maybe you want to let your son's day care center know how much you value their care.
Make a donation
If you're like me, your house may be cluttered with dinosaur figurines or fire trucks and race cars. Chances are, your child doesn't play with every single one of those toys. Choose a box to fill with his or her least favorite or outgrown toys and take it to a donation center. Include children in this process. Try to explain where these toys are going and that another child will be so excited to receive them.
Read to shelter dogs
Check with your local animal shelter first to see whether they provide this service. Several shelters would probably love for you and your kiddos to spend quality time with the dogs.
At the end of the day, if a boy trips and drops all of his books in the hallway, we want it to be our son or daughter who jumps in to help. We would want the same kindness shown to our kids. Even we adults need a boost some days too.
Emily Morrison is a freelance writer, former copy editor, full-time mommy and Disney fanatic who lives in Independence with her husband, 4-year-old son and two dogs.