The Grand Relationship

Grandparents are the best at giving warm hugs, loving advice, homecooked meals and the yummiest sweet treats. They are the true extension of familial love. In fact, allowing children to form a close bond with their grandparents not only benefits your child, but also Grandma and Grandpa. And these benefits will last a lifetime. When your children grow up with a deep affinity for their grandparents, studies say you can expect any of the following:

• Fosters a positive view of aging. Children who spend more time with their grandparents are more accepting of the elderly in general. What’s more, researchers say that girls in particular tend to view their own aging more favorably.
• Eases separation anxiety. What better place than Grandma’s and Grandpa’s home to show your children they can be loved, safe and secure in other homes? Experiencing this demonstrates to kids how other families work and how other relationships succeed.
• Increases happiness. Both the children and the grandparents are happier when they have a close, loving relationship. One study shows that kids who grow up having a close and loving relationship with their grandparents are less likely to be depressed as adults. A 2014 study from Boston University found that the affection adult grandchildren and their grandparents have for one another reduces depressive symptoms on both sides.
• Improves behavior. A study of children ages 11 to 16 years of age echoed the 2014 Boston University findings and found that the close bonds between grandparents and grandkids are associated with benefits that include fewer emotional and behavioral problems and fewer difficulties with peers. The close relationships also helped lessen the adverse impacts of stressful experiences, such as parental divorces and being bullied.
• Clearer mental health. Grandparents serve as mental health safety nets by providing consistent unconditional love when kids are dealing with parents’ divorcing, bullying at school, etc. An Oxford study showed that the involvement of grandparents is strongly associated with reduced adjustment difficulties, especially among adolescents who are from divorced or separated families. Having a close relationship with a grandparent is associated with fewer depressive symptoms because grandparents are a security blanket. Kids know they can trust them.

Children aren’t the only ones who reap benefits! Grandparents glean rewards from these close-knit relationships, too. Here are just a few ways they benefit:

• Mentally sharper. Relationships with their grandchildren may help keep grandparents’ minds sharper, especially the grandmother’s. An Australian study found that grandmothers who spent time taking care of their grandchildren performed better on cognitive tests than grandmothers who didn’t. In fact, watching their grandchildren only one day per week was linked to higher test results than watching them multiple days!
• Live longer. Recent research shows that grandparents who babysit grandkids live longer than same-age adults who don’t have child-rearing responsibilities. Grandparents who babysit regularly have a 37 percent lower mortality risk than adults who do not. Researchers suspect this has something do with staying mentally active and having a purpose.
• Reduced Alzheimer’s risk. As another study revealed, when grandmothers spend one day a week caring for children, they reduce their Alzheimer’s risk. However, if they care for children five or more days a week, they increase their risk of neurodegenerative disorders. So, it’s important to get the right balance for everyone involved.
• Makes them feel worthy. Not only can grandparenting help grandparents think better, but it can help them feel better, too! Being involved with their grandchildren improves their family ties and their sense of worthiness, because they feel valued in that role.
• Increases confidence. Grandparents feel more confident when they realize they are physically able to play with their grandchildren. It also helps them feel more socially engaged, and with this increase in a social and active lifestyle comes an added benefit of improving thinking skills, such as memory.

For families where grandparents live in the same house or nearby, nurturing grandparent-grandchild experiences is easy. However, for others, more effort is required. Here are some ways to bring everyone together.

• Plan regular family get-togethers or reunions. Don’t just get together on holidays. Instead, make it a regular family event.
• Schedule some one-on-one time for grandchildren to spend quality time with their grandparents in intimate settings. The alone time is good for both because it offers them undivided attention.
• If Grandma and Grandpa live out of town, use Skype or FaceTime to allow them to stay in touch and speak one-on-one with their grandchildren. Send photos, letters and emails/texts on a regular basis.
• Bring them together with something they can do together. Maybe Grandma can teach her grandkids how to bake cookies, sew a pillow, garden or put together a puzzle. Grandpa may want to play board games, teach them how to craft with wood, play with a train set or hit a golf ball. On the flip side, children can show their grandparents how to play video games or show off how amazing they are at playing an instrument, doing gymnastics or throwing a ball.

Grandparents are important in a child’s life. They provide the extra love and nurturing a child needs, and they serve as wonderful storytellers, play partners and sources of knowledge, values and unconditional love. These are all things your children will grow to remember as adults. And as a bonus, grandparents learn quite a lot from their grandkids, making them feel years younger than they are. This is a win-win for everyone involved!

Kansas City mom and author Gina Klein loves the relationships her two daughters have with both sets of grandparents. While one set lives in town, the other lives several hours away and keeps in touch with the girls regularly through email and by phone.