The Kid Who Smiles A Lot
“Bill!” my wife, Sandi, called, “Come and look at Ian.”
On Ian’s third birthday, he could not talk. By their third birthday, most children are forming words, expressing their wants and needs in complete, or nearly so, sentences. Ian could make noises, but speech, even baby talk of one or two words, was still beyond him. We worried about his speech delay because speech is crucial to socialization. If children can’t manage a simple greeting, and Ian couldn’t, they are at a significant disadvantage in a verbal world. Our worry cast a cloud over us on his birthday, a bright, sunny afternoon in the middle of May.
We chose the Walnut Grove picnic area at Shawnee Mission Park for Ian’s party. My family has celebrated birthdays and holidays there since I was a child and I wanted to continue this tradition. More importantly, we wanted Ian to have a good birthday. Walnut Grove, with its large, shady trees, picnic grills, creeks and an up-to-date playground, was the perfect place for it.
Like all kids, Ian loves playgrounds and, after exploring the inside, he climbed and scampered fearlessly on the outside of the equipment. Sandi stood and watched over him and his brother as they played, doing her best to keep them both safe while I started the fire at the grill.
“Bill,” Sandi called again, “come here.”
I turned around from where I was cooking hot dogs and looked up the path toward the playground. Sandi gestured impatiently. Still holding the tongs, I left the grill to join her. When I arrived, I noticed that a number of other children were playing on the same equipment as Ian. They ranged in age from slightly older than Ian to nearly 10 years older and had coalesced into an impromptu playgroup.
“Watch Ian,” Sandi whispered as I arrived. I was astonished! Ian fit seamlessly into this playgroup as they worked at the serious business of athletic play. Ian climbed, jumped, hung by his hands, dropped and ran with the others, following the visual clues given by the older children.
“Where’s that kid that smiles a lot?” asked the leader, looking for Ian. “I really like him.” Ian popped his head up.
“You go over there,” he directed. Ian scrambled to his location as the rest of the children went to theirs. For a few minutes, Ian was able to socialize. For a few minutes, we didn’t have to watch with breaking hearts as our son was excluded from interactive play because he was different. For those few minutes, Ian was treated as a normal child and I drank it in, wondering idly if Ian was aware of the birthday gift he was receiving.
Inevitably, the playgroup broke up as the other children returned to their families. The hot dogs were done and we had our birthday celebration, with a meal, cake and presents, taking tired children home after the party.
That next February, Ian was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.
Bill Bartlett makes his home in Belton with his wife, Sandi, and their two sons.