The Serious Business of Play

It turns out the old adage is true: All work and no play really does make Jack a dull boy.

But probably not in the way you’d expect.

Sure, play breaks monotony and relieves stress. But it’s what happens inside Jack’s brain as he builds cities in the sandbox or slays dragons with a buddy that gives him the most bang for his play buck, according to researchers who’ve studied play in both humans and animals.

Play is where connections are formed that will follow him into adulthood—connections that help him learn about his world, understand how things work, express himself and develop physical, mental and social skills.

Wired for Fun

Fortunately, we don’t have to teach our children to play—it comes naturally.In fact, studies show that from birth to 6, children are likely to play more than 15,000 hours.

“When we think about play, we often think of it as a nonsensical type of activity,” says Phillip Hause, a licensed professional counselor and play therapist at CrossPointe Counseling Center in Gardner. But nothing could be further from reality. Play, or the lack of it, affects every aspect of a child’s development.

“We can understand our children better if we understand their play,” Hause says. “By watching children play, we often learn more about their feelings, thoughts, motivations and struggles than by talking with them.”

Play has been dubbed the “language of childhood” by researchers, Hause says. “And if we learn or relearn that language, we can build more satisfying relationships with our children.”

Because of this, Hause stresses the importance of children having time to play not only by themselves and with friends, but also with their own parents.

A Balancing Act

Sadly, studies show that U.S. children in 2002 had 12 fewer hours of free time per week than children 20 years earlier, severely limiting play time—especially unstructured outdoor activities.

The culprit, says Hause, is over scheduling.

Mary Sprague of Olathe knows what it’s like to juggle schooling, church life (she’s a pastor’s wife), organized activities, play time and six kids—ages 1 to 18, including two adopted from Ethiopia last year.

Still, Sprague and her husband, Clint, are intentional about finding balance and nurturing play in their children.

“Anything you do with them, they will learn to love,” Sprague says. “You let them try a little bit of everything and if they’re not into it, then that’s cool. Or if they want to do it, then that’s great, too.”

While the Sprague children are involved in everything from youth theater to football and basketball to gymnastics and ballet, they still find plenty of time to build forts, color, play dress up, sew, skate and play soccer and other games together and with neighbors. 

“Play is a top priority,” Sprague says. “My kids are not couch potato kids and so, whether we’re kicking balls in the backyard or riding bikes or going to a park, it’s a real big deal.”

The same holds true for Jake and Bethany McGuire and their three children, ages 5, 10 and 13.

“Our favorite things to do are swimming and running together,” says the Belton mom. “We also love Dance Party Wii and Uno, because even our 5-year-old can play.”

One way the McGuires achieve balance is by limiting tech games.

“We give them Wii time, but it mostly has to involve one of the more physical games to get their bodies involved,” she says. “We also let them do sit-on-the-couch-and-drool games, but they are limited to only one hour on the weekends or when friends come over.”

The Bottom Line

You’re never too old to play.

And according to Dr. Stuart Brown, in his book Play, although the types of activities change as people mature, the need for play and its value in a person’s life does not.

Which is a good reminder—because all work and no play make grown-up Jack dull, too.

Melinda Ablard Smith is wife to one amazing man, mom to two great teenagers and owner to three excessively playful Chihuahuas. She lives in Olathe and teaches journalism at MidAmerica Nazarene University.