The Terrific Twos
We’ve all heard about the “terrible twos.” You know, once babyhood nears an end, our adorable sweeties turn into Godzillas. With rapid brain development going on and their newfound independence, newly-turned-twos experience many frustrations. And, yes. Toddler frustrations often result in screaming meltdowns.
When you have a 2-year-old, temper tantrums will happen, but when they do, remember it’s simply your little one’s trying to communicate with you. Tots encounter so many new challenges at this age, and 2-year-olds’ minds are set on what they want. What you want means nothing to them. Sound difficult? It’s really not that bad, or at least, it doesn’t have to be. In fact, as parents, we can take charge and help our little ones overcome the frustrations they feel during this trying stage in life. Here are some great tips on both avoiding and also getting through tantrums when they do happen.
Never, ever give in to a tantrum. Your little one needs to know that you are the boss. The moment you give in, she will manipulate you. Toddlers are quite smart, and they definitely know how to get you wrapped around their finger.
Wait it out. If she’s throwing a tantrum at home, remain calm and don’t reinforce the behavior. Control your emotions, because if your emotions escalate, so will your child’s. Avoid confronting her, and don’t laugh. Instead, ignore her, don’t make eye contact, and wait for her to calm down.
Make sure she’s safe. If it’s a full-blown tantrum, make sure she cannot hurt herself in her surroundings. You may need to pick her up and move her somewhere else.
Remove him. A tantrum that happens in a public place is completely different than one that happens at home. When your precious gem disturbs the peace in a store or public library, it’s downright embarrassing. What to do? Remove him from the situation and take him to a quiet place, such as the bathroom or car.
Identify her triggers. Is she tired? Hungry? Bored? Tantrums typically stem from hunger, exhaustion, boredom or feelings of being overwhelmed. Anticipate outbursts by paying attention to her nonverbal cues. Always have snacks on hand, be sure she gets a nap or engage her in a quiet activity before she gets to the tantrum stage.
Exercise is important. Instead of letting him stare at a screen, keep your toddler active. Too much screen time makes children more irritable, demanding and inflexible.
Give him some control. Offer your child options. Would he like to wear a green or yellow shirt today? Offer him the choice of graham crackers or apples for a snack. Avoid asking open-ended questions, as they can cause frustration.
Be consistent in your discipline. Consistency is very important. If you aren’t consistent, you’ll only confuse your toddler. If you don’t plan to follow through with a disciplinary threat, then don’t say it. Make sure your spouse and caregiver know your discipline plan so everyone is on the same page.
Praise him. What a wonderful age two is. Your toddler is trying to be independent and is experiencing so many new things. Be sure to tell him just how well he’s doing and how proud you are of his accomplishments. As parents, we’re good about pointing out our children’s wrongdoings, so be sure to point out the good things he does as well.
If your toddler is experiencing strong emotions, then there’s a good chance she needs your attention. Instead of turning away and ignoring her, offer her the help and emotional support she needs to work through her frustrations. In most cases, your love alone will calm the waters and keep a temper at bay. And, by acting maturely, you are teaching your little one effective ways of dealing with big emotions. What a great way to turn the terrible twos into terrific twos!
Kansas City mom and author Gina Klein found that the terrible twos were quite terrific compared to the threes, and she amazingly survived both.