The Truth About Lies

Philippians 4:8-9: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

I caught one of my daughters in a lie recently. It wasn’t anything life altering, but nonetheless it wasn’t truthful and we both knew it. It came from a petty avoidance of responsibility. I don’t think any parents desire to find out their kid can be willfully deceitful. For me it was a wake up call from a lull in my intentional parenting. What in the world am I, the mother, supposed to do about it? Brush it under the rug and forget about it? Make her follow through on her task and not mention the lie? Remove every sliver of freedom from her grasp until she understands the reality that a paper cut can infect the whole body? Ignoring it didn’t seem wise, and blowing it out of proportion sounded reactive and ineffective. What is a mom to do?

First, I thought big picture and long term. What harm is there in a little lie? Lying is denying that who God is and who He’s made us to be aren’t enough. That’s not something I want my daughters believing in, whether in small or big ways. I’ve lived long enough to know that small things tend to grow, including lies, including false identities. Not believing the time, energy and resources God has given us are enough leads to all kinds of unhealthy and unwelcome behaviors over the long run.

            Second, I humbly recalled that we’ve all been guilty of lying and making mistakes on a daily basis. If I want her to forgive others, she needs to experience it for herself. I want all my daughters to feel the freedom that follows admitting we’re wrong and accepting grace from others. These are often too uncommon, but highly important, skills in this world. Our home and in our family are places of new beginnings and fresh starts, but that’s only going to happen if we expect honesty and accept grace hand-in-hand.

            Philippians 4:8-9 is our family’s summer theme verse: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” This verse helps us to remember it’s all about the “practicing” and not about perfection. Jesus did the perfection part for us, so we get the joy of living in faith that His grace is sufficient, and that is the truth about lies.

Faith & Family writer Jena Meyerpeter is from Lenexa.