When Family Dinners Don't Work: 9 Other Ways to Connect
It seems the tradition of the nightly family dinner has long past. And who can blame us? Soccer tournaments, dance lessons, late nights working at the office—they all add up to not enough time spent together in general, let alone around a dinner table. But that doesn’t make meals together any less important. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, kids and teens who share family dinners three or more times a week are less likely to be overweight, perform better academically and have better relationships with their parents. With all that potential goodness staring parents right in the face, it makes sense to put the nightly family meal back on the table.
But let’s be honest for a moment—traditional dinners are difficult. They take a lot of preparation and cleanup, and if no one is around to enjoy the meals, it’s all a lost cause anyway. Here are several ways you can incorporate that all-important family connectivity back into your routine, without necessarily having to fulfill the requirements of a sit-down dinner.
Breakfast Bounty
Mornings are chaotic, especially during the academic year as various school and work times begin to collide. Consider choosing one day a week where everyone in the house agrees to get up 15 minutes earlier than usual for breakfast together. Nothing overblown either. We’re talking pre-sliced fruit from the grocery store and some cereal at the very least. Everyone gets a full, healthy breakfast and a chance to connect with each other before the day gets too crazy.
Picture Party
With the advent of the mobile phone, photographs are taken more frequently but developed less often. Print off several favorite pictures from each family member’s phone (or just 10-20 pictures if Mom and Dad are the only ones with phones) and grab a seat around the family table. Go through the pictures and relive the memories of each one. Organize them by date and pop them into a family album. Do this once a month and you’ll soon have an album full of memories that can be accessed anytime.
Pick a Dish, Any Dish
Here’s an easy way to get a home-cooked meal in without putting the prep on just one person. Each member of the family selects a dish (main dish, side dish, dessert and salad). That family member is responsible for making that contribution, all culminating with a family dinner at a specified time. The best conversations are those had when the meal is being prepared.
Backyard Picnic
If the weather is decent, break out a blanket and have dinner in the backyard or a nearby park. Fancy dishes are unnecessary and way too cumbersome to put in a basket. Grab some fried chicken from the grocery store and dig in together. Play some Frisbee or baseball after the meal to burn it all off, then cool down as you watch the sun set.
Family Book Club
Forget chicken or mashed potatoes. Brain food is essential for families as well. Have each member of the family choose a book (at their reading level) and read for 30 minutes a few times each week. Come together after the timer goes off and individually share the books’ developments.
If a book per person is too difficult to manage, consider choosing a family book to read altogether (think Hunger Games or Where the Red Fern Grows). Take turns reading out loud to each other!
Team up!
With all this talk about food, it’d be great also to have an approach that centers on some activity. Try taking the whole family to the local tennis court and to hit some balls around. Find a local trail and walk it together. There are hundreds of ways to be active with your family if you just start looking. Nothing brings families closer than good old-fashioned play!
Three Keys to Successful Family Time
- No phone zone. When the family is doing something together, no phones are allowed on the table or within reach. Everyone can survive for an hour or two. (That means you too, parents!)
- No wrong answers or questions. Family time is prime time for conversations to abound. Encourage kids to talk about whatever is on their minds—no holds barred. This builds trust, which will be helpful as they grow older.
- Everybody helps. Whether it’s cleaning up the dishes or folding up the blankets from movie night, each person pitches in. No exceptions!
Kim Antisdel is a freelance writer and interior design sales rep for Kansas City and surrounding areas. She lives in Liberty with her husband, two stepdaughters and small zoo of rescue animals.