By Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts
Helping the Messy Child Succeed in School
Question: My fourth grader is having a rough time at school. He forgets to bring the right books home and doesn’t remember what his homework assignments are. His backpack, desks at home and at school and notebooks are in total disarray. He is a disorganized mess. How can I help him get organized? – Want to Help
Answer: All the skills your son does not have are called executive function skills. Executive functioning has become a buzzword in both education and psychology. A simple definition is these are the skills that help you get things done. They are the skills, according to WebMD, that help you manage time, pay attention, switch focus, plan and organize, remember details and multitask. Executive function problems are often seen in students with ADHD; however, some children are simply born with or have weak executive function skills.
It does sound like your child has a weakness in his executive functioning skills. They are not going to improve through nagging or punishment or calling your son sloppy or lazy. Fortunately, there are loads of things you can do to improve his basic planning and organizing skills, but you must be a teacher, not a rescuer. It does take patience and will be work for you. One caution: Do not try to improve too many areas at one time, as it will not work. And be sure to lavish praise when his skills begin to improve.
Here are some solid suggestions from the National Center for Learning Disabilities on how to manage executive function problems:
- Take a step-by-step approach.
- Rely on visual aids to get him organized.
- Use tools like time organizers, computers or watches with alarms.
How to keep things from getting lost going to and from school
- Try to duplicate his school supplies (textbooks, computer) at home, so there is one less thing for him to remember.
- Make a reminder checklist of all the things that need to be returned to school, such as homework assignments, permission slips and plan books for him to use.
- Work with him to follow this checklist and get everything in his backpack and at the front door every night.
- Create a reminder list to be placed on his desktop at school of things that must be brought home every day. Each item should be checked off as it goes into his backpack.
- The final item should be backpack. (It is helpful if a teacher reinforces following checklists.)
- Encourage him to place his backpack on his lap if he is riding a school bus. If you are driving him home, make sure he has the backpack before leaving the school.
How to handle homework
- Create a workplace with all necessary supplies where you can see him work.
- Have a homework checklist, which includes order for doing homework and placing assignments in homework folder.
- Make helpful suggestions when your child encounters difficulties in completing an assignment.
Ways to Avoid Mess
At the end of each week, set a time for cleaning out and organizing backpack, folders, plan books and study area.
Ways to Improve Grades
Question: We just got our sixth grader’s semester report card. His grades have declined to mostly C’s from all B’s last year. Are there any simple solutions to get him back on track? – Want to Know
Answer: The first place to start is by talking with your son to get his input on why this happened. This conversation could go a long way toward a solution. Next, talk to his teacher. You want to make the following points:
- You are concerned because your son’s grades have gone from B’s to C’s.
- You want to work closely with the teacher to solve your son’s problem.
- You would like to know exactly what the problem is.
- You want to know what can be done to resolve the problem.
- You would like to receive regular reports on the progress your son is making in raising his grades.
Somehow, parents have gotten the idea that any time things don’t go well at school, an entire battery of tests should be administered. This is really only true for the small percentage of children who are learning disabled or those whose problems truly puzzle their teachers.
An experienced teacher can often see that only a few simple steps are needed to help good students get back on the track to better grades. Problems can often be eliminated by a couple of help sessions with a teacher, some special drill or assistance from parents, or even help from a classmate. For example, if your child has fallen behind in math because he hasn’t really caught on to a new skill, the teacher may decide to reteach the lesson, or you could reinforce the learning of this skill at home. Your child might also get help from a classmate or tutor. Just don’t wait to do something about the problem until your child is thoroughly frustrated and discouraged.
Parents should send questions and comments to DearTeacher@DearTeacher.com and to learn more about helping their children succeed in school visit the DearTeacher website.
©Compass Syndicate Corporation, 2022
As always, please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns.