I pulled to a stop at a red light and looked in my rearview mirror at the lone kiddo in my car, my middle child. His chubby little legs dangled over the edge of his car seat, bouncing rhythmically to the tune filling the car from the radio. In one hand, he held a rainbow-colored popsicle; in the other, a soft blue ball. His wavy blonde locks moved in the breeze, the effect of an open window on a blustery day. He looked outside, a big grin on his face exposing my favorite feature of his… a dimple on his left cheek. It was clear that this little boy was on cloud nine. The reason? Some one-on-one time with Mom (though I’m sure a sugary treat and a dollar store toy sealed the deal).
It was hard for me to imagine this sweet bundle of energy anything so out of character but, sure enough, my three-year-old had turned unusually irritable and ornery soon after his baby brother was born. I chalked this up to normal toddler behavior that occurs after a newborn steals the show and Mom and Dad seem to have less time to go around. Nonetheless, I was determined to devote bits and pieces of time dating him and my firstborn, letting them know how loved they were. It was clear after my first outing with Mr. Middle Child that he was enjoying some undivided attention.
“Mommy, let’s do this every day!” the three year old exclaimed from the backseat as we turned onto our driveway. Oh, Sweetheart, if only I could!
My kids are each unique and special to me, but it’s easy in the day to day to see them as the collective children and not each as an individual child. One of the best pieces of advice I got before becoming a mom of three was to carve out time to date my kids, as that one-on-one time would make them feel valued and it would also serve to remind me how much I enjoyed each of them. Our dates are nothing elaborate or expensive. A trek to the library children’s department. A jaunt to a nearby park. Sometimes I invite a child to go with me on a quick errand while my husband watches the other two.
Even though I spend all day with my children, they are still wild about one on one time… and to be honest, I like it, too!