It’s bedtime. Or it should be, but I’ve got too much to do to even dream of curling up under my duvet and revisiting Middle Earth. I’ve got schoolwork, cleaning, bills and talon-length toenails all waiting to be tended. But I can’t find my notebook, the Windex is gone, today’s bills are mixed in with last year’s and, of course, the toenail clippers haven’t been seen for a week. I’m stressed out of my gourd. Can you relate?
If so, you’re not alone. A 2011 study by the American Psychological Association concluded that close to two thirds of surveyed parents reported being stressed by various causes, including money, work, relationships and health problems.
On the other side of the holiday season, when work deadlines, family obligations and money challenges have all taken their toll on your frame of mind, consider the positive impact of simplifying your life in at least one solid way. We have the privilege of constructing the lives we want within the framework of what is. Why not take some time by yourself to ponder what you want to accomplish in 2013? Make a New Year’s resolution to reduce your clutter and cut down on stress.
Courtney Carver, author of the widely-popular simplicity and minimalism blog www.BeMoreWithLess.com, shares some tips with Kansas City parents. “Because we are so busy,” she says, “slowing down or decluttering can feel like one more chore. We sometimes forget that busyness is a choice.” Make the choice to slow down and declutter, and the impact will splash into other areas of your life. Instead of possible depression come February, you could find yourself less stressed this year, with even a little internal wiggle-room to allow for new and exciting ventures.
Here are some ideas Courtney shares to help declutter your life:
1) Simplify your closet. This is one place you visit at least once a day. If you’ve ever thought “I have nothing to wear” as you stare at a sea of choices, you’ll welcome the relief of less.
2) Give yourself 5 still minutes every morning. Take 5 minutes for yourself each morning before launching into your day and the demands on your time and energy.
3) Quit. There is no law about finishing bad books, sitting through bad meetings or staying on uncooperative committees.
4) Unplug. Designate at least one hour a day and one day a week to be free from computers, cell phones and the television. Go outside, do something you really enjoy or do nothing at all.
5) Say no. If you are a people pleaser, saying no can be a challenge. Next time you want to say no but feel compelled to say yes, consider this: You aren’t doing anyone a favor by committing half-heartedly to something. In fact, it’s a disservice. Protect your time and theirs by saying, “No thank you.”
Many of us parents work outside our homes. We wake early, get our children off to school, dash to the office, spend our days in a slurry of productivity and then race home, where we hurriedly put a meal on the table and do our best to cobble together family time in spite of the constant busyness surrounding us. If this sounds familiar, Courtney suggests you “declare your car, kitchen table and bedroom phone-free zones. When you do that, you automatically build time and space into your day. This results in clarity and the ability to really engage in conversations and relationships that are usually overshadowed by alerts, calls and messages from your phone or other digital devices.”
Courtney offers one more thought to busy KC parents: Connectivity is not the same thing as being connected. “We are so connected that we’ve become completely disconnected from what we truly want and need in our lives. That combined with endless to-do lists and back-to-back appointments and obligations leaves us depleted, uninspired and caught in the busyness of our lives.” Consider dedicating yourself this year to simplifying your life by incorporating Courtney’s suggestions and finding your own methods for decluttering!
ARE YOU TOO BUSY?
1. When you have a free minute at home, do you:
A. Watch TV
B. Catch up on work projects
C. Do something restful and fulfilling
2. When your child wants to play, do you say:
A. “I’m too busy.”
B. “When I’m done with this project/email/TV show.”
C. “What would you like to do with me?”
3. Your body feels:
A. Achy, tired, sore
B. Fluttering, nervous, stressed
C. Strong and confident
4. When someone asks you to do something, do you:
A. Say yes
B. Feel pressured and make up an excuse
C. Consult your planner and make a decision based on whether you want to
5. Do you rate your day based on:
A. How much work you got done
B. How much work you didn’t get done
C. How you feel at the end of it
If you answered mostly “A,” consider that you may be too busy. If you answered mostly “B,” you may need to learn to enforce your personal boundaries. If you answered mostly “C,” congratulations! You’re doing a great job resting in the midst of life. Keep it up!