Newsflash: We live in a competitive society, a culture driven by success and winning. Well, obviously this isn’t news. But what parents may find alarming is how much our success-driven mentality is harming our children, particularly in athletics.
According to a USA Today study conducted at Michigan State University, 35 million children participate in organized sports every year. This same study asserts that 65 percent of athletes joined sports to be with their friends and that 71 percent would not mind if no score were kept in their games. However, despite kids’ often joining athletics to make enjoyable memories with friends and teammates, a large percentage of them quit sports by the end of high school. What is the most common reason? They are burned out and no longer having fun. As parents, knowing how important athletics, exercise and teamwork are in a child’s development, we must examine these startling statistics as we raise our children in this competitive world of organized sports.
A major shift in youth organized sports has occurred in the past few decades. In the ’70s and ’80s, most kids participated in a variety of sports year-round: baseball, soccer, football and basketball would often be incorporated into a child’s life throughout a 12-month period. In recent years, however, children have begun specializing (choosing one sport on which to focus) at younger ages. It is increasingly common for a 10-year-old to choose a “specialty” and devote his or her entire year to practice, training and honing skills in a specific sport. While specialization in a sport is not harmful in itself, parents, coaches and trainers must ensure that a child does so in the right way, at the right age and, most importantly, that the child wants to make such a commitment.
In order to fairly debate raising a child as a one-sport athlete versus a multi-sport athlete, we should examine the pros and cons of each choice. For an athletically inclined child, playing multiple sports throughout the year provides many advantages. His body will benefit as different muscle groups are trained at different times, allowing the tired muscle groups from the previous sport to rest. On the other hand, when an athlete is devoted to one year-round sport, the chance of injury increases. A child who swims 12 months of the year does not allow her muscle groups to rest, and she may overextend herself.
Also, a child who participates in a variety of sports gets a chance to see where his interests truly lie, an important and enjoyable process of childhood. Due to the change of pace and activity, the child who plays different sports throughout the year is less likely to become disenchanted with sports. Also, she will likely have a brief rest between seasons where she can enjoy free time and unstructured play, activities helpful for her imagination, bonds of friendship and overall childhood development.
Why, then, would parents and coaches push children to specialize if there are so many possible harmful repercussions? For a variety of reasons, becoming a one-sport athlete is more and more common. One major reason is the competitive level of collegiate athletics. Scholarships are hard to come by, and athletes are getting better and stronger at an earlier age. Parents, who see a talent in their child at 8, 9 or 10, realize they have eight years to prepare for scouting and recruitment. So rather than waiting until high school or even middle school to specialize, many children are already committing at the elementary school level. Another reason kids choose one sport is simple interest. There are boys who live and breathe baseball, and that is all they want to do. If they love it, why not let them play it year-round? This might seem innocent, but if a boy plays competitively in several tournaments every weekend, he might be overusing muscle groups that are still developing throughout his crucial growing years.
Specialization of a sport can be done properly, but it involves a knowledgeable support team of trainers, coaches and parents to ensure that the child does not burn out and end up quitting all together or hurt herself through excessive physical endurance. The athlete must rest overused muscles during the off-season. Getting enough sleep is also crucial for kids. Often, competitive athletes have hours of training, practice and games, as well as academic requirements, part-time jobs, family commitments and social lives. Not only does lack of sleep adversely affect grades, but also greatly increases the chance of athletic injury. The exhausted athlete’s brain has not rested, which can cause him to be distracted, and his body has not rested, which can lead to injury. Proper nutrition is another necessity to keeping an athlete healthy. Kids who eat French fries for lunch and skip dinner will not have healthy, strong bodies to endure hours of daily athletics. Parents and coaches should work with their athletes to ensure they are eating balanced, healthy meals with enough calories.
For any parents who involve their children in sports, specializing or not, remembering that they are kids is important. They deserve a childhood of fun, spontaneity, support and friendship. Talk to your child. Is she enjoying the sport? Does she have a sense of camaraderie with her teammates and coaches? Does she seem passionate about playing? Is it all about winning, or she is really having fun and making memories? Asking these questions on a regular basis will help ensure that your child is in the right sport and doing it the right way.
Olathe mom Karen Johnson has three children, ages 6, 4 and 2. She writes at The21stCenturySAHM.com.
Tips for parents of athletes:
- Teach children to be careful with repetitive motions, such as pitching or kicking, which use the same muscles of the same body part over and over. Ensure that they give these highly used muscles rest and utilize other muscles for strength training.
- Treat injuries seriously, especially if the child is specializing and hoping to make a high school and/or collegiate career out of the sport. Pushing through an injury or neglecting it may worsen the damage, possibly causing the child to give up the sport entirely in the end.
- Let them rest and be kids. Allow them time to ride their bikes. Take them on nature walks and let them play tag. Teach them to throw a Frisbee and play mini-golf.
Tips to Being a Great Athletic Parent
- Value effort over results. If athletes are taught to manage the challenges of the game, to remain calm under pressure, to maintain composure, to stay focused and to play with confidence, they learn vital life skills. They also will perform much closer to their ideal performance level, because focusing on outcomes usually develops anxiety and tension.
- Choose a coach or program that values your athlete over winning games. This could mean choosing a team with lesser players or a lower league level in order to get the best coach and team culture. The best coaches create winning people.
- Don’t be heard making excuses for your child’s performance unless you want your child to start making excuses for himself. When he hears you saying that the referees are to blame, what are you teaching him?
- Say “I believe in you.” When a child worries about a parent’s belief, it’s impossible to perform to her ability. Doubt fuels anxiety. “Parents need to give kids their full support and confidence,” says Stilwell tennis player Justin Leslie.
- Ask your child what he needs from you. Communicate in a quiet place (not after a game) and, preferably, over ice cream. Kyle Kindler of Overland Park says, “I had some really good talks with my son over the weekend. Seems it was fear and stress of pleasing me that was the issue.”
- Equip your kids to recognize an occasional bad day and don’t pile on criticism. “Every kid that is putting in the time and effort wants to do his best to achieve goals. So when kids are having a rough day, it’s not because they don’t care,” Taylor Leslie, freshman, says.
- Provide resource options but don’t sign kids up until they are ready. Adding a fitness coach, a mental coach and private lessons to a child’s schedule will help only if the child is ready to take advantage of the resources. Otherwise, it’s a recipe for creating pressure from high expectations. Offer the options and provide a single exposure to them, then back off until she is ready. Rockhurst athlete Harrison Kotre says, “One of the most important things kids need from their parents is trust. Sometimes parents think they need to be responsible for their kid’s every move.”
By Kim Bastable, mental toughness specialist from Vital Leadership, an organization based in Kansas City dedicated to providing training and inspiration to young adults and athletes to allow them to grow in their self-leadership and mental toughness. This is done through group training and 1-1 personal sessions. VitalLeader.org