Empty. Blank. The brain struggles to write something but nothing comes. Has this ever happened to you? Maybe your friend’s birthday is coming up or you want to send an encouraging note to someone but you are just not sure what to say. You sit there and try to think of something meaningful but can’t come up with anything beyond, “you’re cool” and “I am sure glad we are friends.” This has happened to me many times. However, I have just recently learned a great secret solution that allows me to share something meaningful. The secret involves appreciating with character.
Appreciating with character goes beyond the typical, “hey, glad we could celebrate your special day” or “congratulations on your award.” It affirms the person’s true identity; it touches the heart. What if your birthday card read,
“I am so glad that you have been blessed with the character quality of patience. Patience is accepting a difficult situation without giving a deadline to remove it. I appreciate your patience with me while you helped me with my homework this week when you were so busy preparing for finals. You truly are a great friend.”
Isn’t this much more meaningful? Showing appreciation with character works whether you are sending a birthday card, thank you note, or a text to encourage someone.
There are three steps to appreciating with character.
- Definition: Choose a character quality that the person shows. You can go to http://www.characterfirst.com/assets/Files/CF-Definitions.pdf for a list of character qualities and definitions.
- Illustration: Come up with at least one practical example of when this person showed that character quality.
- Benefit: Explain how that person benefited your life by showing that character quality.
See the example below:
Dear Mary:
Thank you for the wonderful cookies you gave me! You have always shown the character quality of hospitality. Hospitality is cheerfully sharing food, shelter, and friendship with others. Your cheerfulness remains in any situation. I have seen you gladly share what you have with others even at your own expense. I will never forget the time when you gave up going to Jane’s birthday party to come and be with me when I had a broken leg and couldn’t go anywhere. Thank you for your gift of friendship.
~Susan
There you have it plain and simple, yet personally meaningful. The next time you have a card to write or a complement to give, take out your three simple secrets: character definition, illustration, and benefit.
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Steps and definitions taken from: Character First! - http://classroom.characterfirst.com/sample/primary/01parents2.php
http://www.characterfirst.com/assets/Files/CF-Definitions.pdf
Hanna Sims, Teen Blogger