Thanksgiving Without a Thank You Bite

By Julie Collett | October 31, 2023

It is that time of year! Pumpkin spice everything surrounds us, autumn leaves have changed, the weather is finally cooler, and Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching. Folks look forward to Thanksgiving ¦ a time to savor good food and family togetherness. However, throwing a picky eater or two into the mix can make this holiday a little less than you bargained for. Traditions may abound, but perhaps this year calls for a little creativity and patience so everyone can enjoy the feast!

There are many ways picky eaters can be included in-and enjoy-the Thanksgiving festivities. First and foremost, realize you only have so much control over the food-and pretty much none over your picky eater. If you are hosting and preparing the food, you have control in your hands over what you are serving, so you can be more accommodating. However, if you are doing dinner potluck-style or someone else is hosting, you may have to just do the best you can. Follow along for a few tips to help things go as smoothly as possible and keep everyone feeling thankful.

Include your picky eater in the planning of the Thanksgiving meal. Maybe he doesn’t really love the cream-style corn, but peas are his jam. Have both this year! Perhaps your finicky eater really loves rolls. Why not let her choose which kind you are serving? And almost all kids love dessert, so let your child decide what dessert options to serve!

Have your picky eater get in on the cooking action. Sometimes kids are more apt to eat something if they have had a hand in preparing and cooking the food. Kids are able to take pride in managing tasks where they can have responsibility. Hilary Bair, Overland Park mom of three, shares, “I have picky eaters, and I do encourage them to help me cook the foods for Thanksgiving, as this will sometimes get them more excited to try what they have helped prepare.”

Consider serving a buffet. This way everyone, not just the picky eaters, can be in charge of his plate, what is on it and how much is taken. If attending a potluck-style feast, make sure you are in charge of bringing at least one dish your picky eater enjoys and will be sure to eat. For our family, that is jellied cranberries, rolls and fruit salad!

Try something new. Bair says, “I always tell my kids it is a great time of year to try the foods that make up some of our family traditions. And you might be surprised that you like certain foods too!”

Include alternative meat options. Our kids are not huge fans of turkey but enjoy ham in limited bits, sausage and tenderloin. Oftentimes, we serve turkey and tenderloin, so they can have a protein option they enjoy more and will actually eat.

The simpler the better sometimes. Strip down all the fancy, saucy, complicated food and include plain mashed potatoes, raw sliced veggies with dip or plain pasta (or even some good ol’ Kraft macaroni and cheese if that is what your kid is into).

If you go this route, consider a mashed potato bar where guests can doctor their mashed potatoes with toppings on their own: cheese, butter, sour cream, bacon, gravy, whatever appeals. This way you still have the plain option, but also a food that people can customize to their own liking.

Try to let go of cultural and societal expectations. Do what works for you and your family, even if it might be a little bit different then the norm. As difficult as it is, ignore disapproving glances and comments.

Eat outside the box! Instead of traditional Thanksgiving meal options, be bold and cook up something totally different this year. We know families that have lasagna, taco or potato bars, or a soup potluck for their Thanksgiving meal. There are no written rules about what you can and can’t have!

“Holiday meals can be stressful, so I try to keep things simple. I always place a small amount of foods they don’t typically eat (three bites to be polite!) and load up the things they love. It’s a fine balance between keeping Mom happy and kids happy,” says Overland Park mom of three Tara Lowery. “As long as they get some protein and veggies in-win-win! The real enjoyment is just being able to be together!”

Place the focus on something other than the food. Though food is an important aspect, let the togetherness and gratitude be more at the center this year. The real magic is celebrating together, sharing stories and making memories as a family. The food can just be an added bonus!

Be respectful of choices people make, even your picky eater, and refrain from chiding or shaming.

Encourage your picky eater to try new foods but don’t push it or stoke a battle over the issue. Anna Knight, Overland Park mom of two, says, “Encourage them to try new things and foods they don’t think they like, and if it doesn’t work out, don’t sweat it if they fill up on the stuff they do like.” Be sure to celebrate the positive if your picky eater does try something new though!

Even though picky eaters can be frustrating, don’t let it steal your attitude of gratitude during Thanksgiving. After all, Thanksgiving is about being together, celebrating the many blessings in our lives and creating a welcoming environment for all. It may take a little more creativity and patience this year, but celebrate the diversity of tastes and preferences-even if that means adding Goldfish crackers to your Thanksgiving meal this year!

Julie Collett is an Overland Park mom with four kids who all like different things ¦ and can’t understand why she can’t keep a mentally updated list of everyone’s preferences!

Eight Birthday Traditions You’ll Want to Try

By Kerrie McLoughlin | October 30, 2023

Every year when I was a kid, my parents let me choose where I wanted to eat dinner out for my birthday. Another birthday tradition they kept going was to have a small party for me with family and friends, including a cookout, since I have a June birthday.

Kids love to feel special, and it can be a challenge to find the time to come up with ways to make a birthday celebration a knockout. Never fear! Below are eight ideas for birthday traditions to start with your own kids. Pick and choose a few of them each year-and stick with the ones you and your birthday kid love!

Rise and shine. I like to wake my kids up on their birthday not with “Get up! It’s time for school!” but with an extra-long snuggle and the condensed version of the day they were born. Who doesn’t like to hear their birth story?! Adopted and foster children can be told how they were meant to be brought into the family and how special they are.

Birthday letter. Every year I type up a birthday letter for each of my children, telling them what great things they did and said and learned during the past year. I give the birthday child a copy, then save a copy in a binder and on my computer for myself, because we all know kids can’t keep track of stuff. The plan is to give my children a copy of all their letters when they move out, which means they’ll have somewhere between 18 and 30 letters to enjoy-hope I’m just kidding on the 30!

Birthday slideshow. With just a few clicks of your mouse, you can create a special slideshow using Canva, PowerPoint or a similar computer program. Just pop in photos, size them and add cute captions. You even can add some music if you like. After your child watches it about a zillion times, save it to a thumb drive or DVD and pop it in a safe place (e.g., fireproof box), so your child will always have it.

Photos. I try to take as many pictures as I can on birthdays and even make sure I’m included in some of them-I’m the mom, after all! Later, we like to get out old photo albums and browse the birthday kid’s baby pictures.

Special meal. One of my kids loves the neighborhood restaurant where the staff sing “Happy Birthday” and give a balloon to take home. Another child is content heading to the local fast food indoor play area and grabbing bites of food in between trips down the slide. Make at least one meal of the birthday child’s day something out of the ordinary.

Special treat. We like to hit the cupcake restaurant or grab huge, frosted cookies from a local baker and share with our friends and neighbors to spread the celebration around. A cheap-and just as special-route would be to make your child’s favorite dessert at home. Cookies, cake, banana splits, shakes or ice cream sundaes are always a good bet. Depending on which fruit is in season (or in the freezer), a decadent fruit smoothie made with frozen yogurt could be nice.

Party (doesn’t have to be on the actual birthday). If you get a few gray hairs every time you think of planning a birthday party, don’t fret. Options include a simple party at your place with just a few people, a bash at a park gazebo or a celebration where a local party place does all the work.

Birthday weekend sleepover with a few close friends (for kids over age 7). Warning: This one is not for the faint of heart! I suggest allowing a maximum of three friends to stay the night at your house on a Friday night. Order pizza to make life easy on yourself, grab some movies from the library and have the kids set up their sleeping bags as far away from your bedroom as possible.

Kerrie McLoughlin is the proud and kooky mom of five. Check out their adventures at TheKerrieShow.com.

Huh? Ways to Sharpen Kids’ Listening Skills

By Gina Klein | October 30, 2023

Knowing that a lot of what we say to our kids goes in one ear and out the other is not a good feeling. In a perfect world, our little angels would take in every word we speak and understand exactly what we’re saying. The reality, though, is our kids are probably tuning us out more than we think. Maybe it’s because what they’re playing, reading or looking at is much more interesting to them, or perhaps they just don’t always want to hear our voice. As frustrating as it can be, there are ways to teach our kids to actively listen, and not just to us but others as well.

What does it mean to actively listen? It means your child is giving her full attention to the person speaking, and she’s trying to understand what is being said. An active listener shows verbal signs (e.g., remembering and questioning) and nonverbal signs (smiling, nodding head and avoiding distractions) of listening. Active listening is a skill that’s just as important as problem-solving and teamwork, and with time and patience, it’s one that can be acquired and cultivated.

If your child doesn’t show signs of being an active listener, he may have fallen into the trap of passive listening, which is simply hearing what the speaker is saying without trying to understand it. Kids who listen passively don’t retain information because they’re easily distracted. The good news is you can help reverse this habit and help your children improve their listening skills. Here are some great tips to share with your little listeners.

Maintain eye contact. When people hold eye contact with someone speaking, they’re seen as reliable, sociable, confident and active. By focusing your eyes, you’re also improving concentration, which helps you fully understand what the speaker is saying.

Don’t interrupt. Before trying to respond, allow the person speaking to complete his or her thought. Avoid interrupting, finishing sentences or rushing the speaker. Also, don’t try guessing or assuming where her thoughts are going. Just listen.

Always ask questions. When you ask the speaker questions, you show you’re listening and interested in what’s being said.

Repeat back what the speaker says. In your own words, repeat the main points of the message. This will ensure you heard and understood what was said.

It’s important to note that a child’s listening comprehension is more than just hearing what was said. It’s her ability to understand the meaning of the words she hears and to relate to them in some way. For example, when a child hears a story, he will be able to understand it, talk about it, and retell it in his own words.

Now that you and your child have the steps to become active listeners, it’s time to practice, practice, practice! Here are some great activities to help develop and perfect your child’s active-listening skills.

Read stories with your child. Ask her to make a prediction about what will happen next. In order to make a logical guess, she will have to listen closely to the details of the story.

Spend time in the kitchen cooking or baking together. Read the recipe to him while he listens and follows each step to complete the recipe correctly.

Identify sounds. While your child’s eyes are closed, make sounds and have him try to identify them.

Play a game that requires listening. For example, the telephone game. Get a small group together (friends or family members), and have one person whisper a sentence or two to the next person. Each person then repeats it to the next person until you reach the final person. Have the last person repeat aloud what he heard. It’s always fun to see how much the sentence(s) change.

Carry on a conversation about something your child is interested in. This gives her a chance to practice both speaking and listening while engaging in a real conversation.

Play a “Follow the Directions” game. Give your children short, simple instructions and have them draw according to the directions they hear.

Becoming a better listener takes a lot of concentration, determination and practice. By putting these active-listening techniques into action with your kids, you will help them become better communicators and build listening skills they will use for life.

Gina Klein is a mom and author who resides in Kansas City with her husband, two daughters and a houseful of pets.

Better Mornings

By KC Parent | October 30, 2023

Years ago when I was a mom to babies and toddlers, a friend with older, school-aged kids told me she loved when her kids had a break from school. WHAT?! I couldn’t fathom it. After several years straight of never having a quiet day, never having more than an hour to myself during which a child didn’t climb on me, try to reenter my uterus or need me to wipe him, I was baffled. She LIKED when her kids were home all day and didn’t have school?! But now that I have kids in school, I get it. One of the many reasons she enjoyed these days was because she got a break from the morning rush.

You know how it goes. “Get your shoes on! We are late! Did you brush your teeth?! I don’t know where your library books are. That’s not my responsibility. Can you please eat more breakfast? You cannot wear that. Because it’s 45 degrees outside. Yes, you need a coat. Yes, you do.”

And on. And on. Every morning. I get it, parents. I fight the battle daily too. But here are a few tips I’ve tried that have helped make our mornings go more smoothly.

1. Get up earlier.

I know, I know. The sound of that dreaded alarm is not a happy one. But getting the kids (and you) up 15-20 minutes earlier might make a huge difference. More time means less stress. And less stress means less yelling about shoes and breakfast and outfits and library books.

2. Pack lunches the night before.

This one is a huge time saver. If all your kids have to do come 8:05 is reach in the fridge and grab their lunch boxes, you’ve shaved 10 minutes off your morning routine!

3. Have the week’s lunch plan decided by Sunday night.

Speaking of lunches, do your kids buy hot lunch? Mine do two or three times per week. We look at the week’s choices Sunday night, choose which days are hot or cold lunch and write them down. This helps our morning routine run smoothly (and our evenings-if the following day is a hot lunch day, no lunch needs to be packed.)

4. Create a homework/calendar center to keep you organized.

We have three kids, so each one has his or her own marker board on which we write that child’s schedule for the week: practices, after-school activities, field trips, show and tell, etc. Also, under their marker boards are baskets for homework papers and hooks for backpacks and coats. Having each child maintain his or her own area keeps us organized and helps our mornings run smoothly, as all know where their belongings are and what’s in store for the day.

5. Pick out outfits the night before.

If you have a little girl like I do, the process of choosing an outfit might be an arduous one. Don’t save this for the morning before school! My daughter chooses every piece before she goes to bed-down to the socks, necklace and headband. This procedure is also helpful for times of the year like fall or spring when the temperature could be 50 degrees or 80. We check the next day’s weather so she chooses appropriate clothes. And we don’t fight in the morning about what she’s going to wear!

6. Organize backpacks the night before.

After school each day, I comb through backpacks, sign agendas, look through papers, etc. I immediately recycle what can be tossed and file away anything important. Is tomorrow library day? Find your library books TONIGHT and pack your backpack. Homework should be complete and neatly placed in the backpack BEFORE going to bed. This way, in the morning, your kids can grab their backpacks and go, and you are not searching the house for that permission slip or math packet.

7. Post a “Getting Ready for School” checklist.

My son is an early riser and usually has time to play a little iPad before school. But NOT until he gets dressed, brushes his teeth and has breakfast. Add whatever else you want to your list: Make beds, take medicine, feed the dog. If your child is efficient, he might get time to play and that can motivate him to move through the checklist faster.

8. Avoid breakfast battles!

Before school is not the time to fight with your child about trying a new recipe. That’s a good Saturday morning activity. Monday through Friday, have a simple breakfast ready to go that your child likes and can eat relatively quickly. Making sure their bellies are full with good nutrition before they start their day of learning is so important. Our choices are usually pretty simple: cereal, oatmeal, yogurt, cheese, fruit, etc.

9. Parents, get up first!

I know it’s tempting to hit snooze one more time, but if you have to be somewhere in the morning as well, you’ll find it helpful to get yourself ready first. Then you can devote that last half hour to making sure their teeth are brushed, their bellies are full and their shoes are on the right feet. Trying to get ready alongside your kids is a recipe for disaster that could lead to stressful mornings.

10. Put kids to bed early on school nights.

I have one early riser and two who like to sleep in. My daughter is a bear in the mornings and can be a challenge to drag out of bed. She’s only 6 years old, so it’s my job to ensure she has had enough sleep. We might let our kids stay up late on Friday and Saturday nights to watch a movie or hang out with friends, but on school nights, we declare, “Lights out!” at a reasonable time to avoid grumpy mornings.

And on mornings when you’ve tried everything and it still doesn’t go well, remember, winter break is coming up and they can hang out in pajamas all day!

Olathe mom Karen Johnson has three kids, ages 8, 6 and 4. She writes at The21stCenturySAHM.com.

What kids REALLY want for birthday parties!

By Judy Goppert | October 30, 2023

annaannaannaanna Your child’s birthday is a momentous occasion every year. It means you are doing something right raising a little person, and it’s so fun to see kids grow. However, planning that annual party can be time-consuming and stressful if you let it. Instead, look for ways to make party planning a breeze for everybody.

annaannaannaanna Pinterest, of course, can give you ideas, but don’t go overboard. Bigger is not always better. A birthday is a time to enter your child’s little world, one parenting author noted. Most kids want someone to see and understand them, which is what their birthday is all about, right?

annaannaannaanna On that note, keeping the party smaller and simpler will perhaps make a bigger impression on her in the long run. The most memorable will be the parties that allow your child to slow down and enjoy herself with family, good food and laughter.

annaannaannaanna Try a little nostalgia and spend the day outside in the yard tossing a ball or playing duck, duck, goose. You might gather on a beach or in a park or play board games. Whatever you do, take cues from your child. Remember, this is not a competition about who has the best venue and hands out the best goodie bags. Birthday parties are about connecting with the people you love and the ones who care most about you.

annaannaannaanna Let your child pick the party theme. For example, little boys usually like construction, so why not visit a Home Depot to find decorations? You can even paint toolbox favors for guests. And don’t overwhelm your toddler. For example, consider inviting family over for cake the weekend before the birthday, then have a small kids’ party the weekend after. This won’t be so overwhelming.

annaannaannaanna Even teens may prefer to do a special activity with a few friends instead of hosting huge party. Think indoor rock climbing, a trapeze class, a double feature with popcorn at the movies or even a day out on the town. Consider a ride on the streetcar or going to First Fridays.

annaannaannaanna Try a story time at a local bookstore, where the owner reads from a favorite book. Each child goes home with his very own book instead of a goodie bag. Or how about taking the kids out to a ball game? You can buy group tickets and make a day of it. There’s nothing quite like cheering on your favorite team and being the birthday boy.

annaannaannaanna Another option is to make the day about giving back. Have each child bring something for a local food pantry, animal rescue or homeless shelter. Put the bags together and deliver them together. Or consider volunteering to serve a meal at a homeless shelter together, then going out for breakfast to discuss big topics, such as what is important in life and why to not judge others. You also can focus on the love by having children bring gift cards to donate to a children’s cancer fund. Most birthday kids have everything they could want, and finding ways to give back will be a rich, memorable way to celebrate them.

annaannaannaanna Younger kids often have favorite characters or people. If you can’t arrange to have Elmo or Elsa show up, arrange to have paper plates that picture a beloved character. You can do the same for balloons, games or a decorated cake. You can find some super talented local cake bakers online.

annaannaannaanna Remember, let your kids have a say. Spending too much money for an hour-and-a-half of fun will pale in comparison to something like a weekend at Great Wolf Lodge with immediate family and a few close friends. Or Worlds of Fun, a local petting zoo or garden center. Scaling back a bit means you can spend the money on your child’s presents, not the party!

annaannaannaanna Keep the focus on joy and togetherness rather than big-event drama. Your child will relish the love and celebration rather than worry how many kids are coming and what presents they are bringing. And if you have a very little one, remember that at age 1, most children don’t know what is happening when you place that cake in front of them. To reduce the shock of all the flashing camera phones, consider having a private “rehearsal” with just Mom and Dad before inviting grandparents, cousins and neighbors.

annaannaannaanna Below, I shareannasome of the parties I planned for my children. None are pricey, all were oriented to their interests and activities. Try coming up with your own unique ideas and make a list, let your child choose, then both of you can happily run with it.

My Party Memories

I’ve always loved planning unique parties for my kiddos. I had a party for my daughter at a place that had a DJ, and everyone danced and wore disco clothes. One year, I had a friend who brought a dress-up trunk to my house and dressed each child in pretty clothes. The children got to pick the outfits they wore, and we had a tea party and photo shoot. Another time, we made princess crowns by cutting out plastic visors, and a friend helped me make pink cupcakes and special gift baggies. We went to the McDonald’s playroom, so we could order food there and not have to cook. My son had swimming parties, where the place offers a party room and serves the cake, pizza and snacks. Parents can get involved in the swimming, too.

Once, we hosted a party for our dogs coinciding with my children’s September birthdays. I found a cake recipe that dogs could eat, and we invited kids to bring their friendly dogs to play in the hose and baby pool in our backyard. Scavenger hunts are another great way to get your children involved in planning their party. Make up clues together. Be sure to enlist extra parents, so when kids scavenge your neighborhood, an adult is present. Have partiers ask for things like a paperclip, a cookie, a golf ball, a dog treat, a rubber band … be creative! If you don’t want to go to neighbors’ houses, visit a park and find natural elements. You can also place items yourself, such as a bag of jellybeans, a baseball … again, involve your kids when coming up with ideas.

annaAn avid outdoors girl, Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.

Sources: MyMetroParents.com, Mom.com

Time Flies! Easy Time-Savers for Parents

By Gina Klein | October 30, 2023

Let’s face it: Being a parent in today’s busy world is far from easy. In fact, some days can be downright crazy! From making healthy meals for the family each day and running kids to practices, to paying bills and fitting in a little time for yourself, time is of the essence. Unfortunately, there just never seems to be enough of it to go around. The good news is that there are ways to sneak in an extra hour or two each day. Here’s how:

Make lists. While a long to-do list can look dreadfully daunting, you’ll find no simpler household management tool. Some cool mobile apps are available to help busy parents, however, many people find it much more satisfying to mark off tasks on a simple pen-and-paper checklist or calendar.

Delegate chores. Divvy up the responsibilities each day among family members. Showing the eldest children how to wash their own clothes or the youngest how to fold and put away their own clean clothes doesn’t take long. Create chore charts for each child so he knows his chores each day. This allows kids to see what chores are expected, plus gives them the satisfaction of checking things off as they’re completed. Sharing the household chores builds responsibility and self-esteem, helping your children become more successful adults.

Manage the mornings. Are you running amuck each morning trying to get everyone out the door? Lessen the stress by packing lunches in the evening. Try putting single-serving containers of applesauce, carrots, cheese sticks and other lunch items in a basket on the counter, then let your kids pick what they’d like to put in their lunches. Choose the next day’s clothing, checking the weather the night before and having your children (and you) select the following day’s outfits ahead of time. This little step will alleviate morning arguments over proper clothing.

Prep in advance. While you’re making breakfasts, prep what you can for dinner ahead of time. You can mix dry ingredients to have them ready, and wash and chop veggies.

Make extra. When making a family favorite for dinner, double the recipe and freeze the other half for another night. Voila!

Take shortcuts. Does the recipe call for chicken? Buy rotisserie or frozen grilled chicken breasts from the store. No time to make homemade sauce? Don’t be afraid to buy it from the store.

Have your groceries delivered. For a small fee, most grocery stores will deliver right to your door. Online grocery shopping also can cut back on impulse buying-especially if you’re shopping hungry.

Have breakfast for dinner. When there’s no time to whip up dinner, serve the family one of their quick breakfast favorites! Scrambled eggs are quick to make, and a serving of fruit on the side makes it that much healthier. Not egg fans? Let everyone fill a bowl of cold cereal, with a cup of fruit on the side.

Invest in an extra freezer. Having an additional freezer will allow you to buy in bulk so you make fewer trips to the grocery store each month. Even easier¦head to Social Suppers (SocialSuppers.com) and purchase entrées from the express fridge. Click here for a coupon for a FREE entrée from the Prairie Village location.

Control clutter with baskets. Purchase some pretty baskets and designate one for each family member. At the end of each day, have everyone gather their toys, books, socks and other items in their baskets to put away before bedtime.

Multitask. While waiting for dinner to finish cooking, clean the kitchen. Scrub down the bathroom after you shower or fold laundry as you remove it from the dryer.

Treat clothing stains ASAP. Doing this is much easier than trying to inspect every item of clothing on laundry day. Pretreat stains as they happen so, when the time comes, you can just toss everything into the washing machine.

Do shorter cycles. If the clothes aren’t that dirty, choose a shorter cycle during the wash and rinse phase. You’ll get laundry done much more quickly, and as a bonus, a shorter cycle is better for the environment and your water bill!

Purchase wrinkle-free fabrics. Unless you really enjoy ironing, look for clothing labeled “wrinkle-free.” Stay away from fabrics such as linen and rayon that crease easily.

Put a tape dispenser and scissors in every living area of your home. When you have kids, these come in handy and seem to be needed a lot. Plus, with multiple sets, you spend less time running around the house looking for them.

Take a “Busy-Mom” Shower. “What is this?” you ask. Washing yourself using the sink, washcloths and soap rather than taking a full shower every day. Almost every busy mom has done this. Dry shampoo is handy, too. However, if you’re someone who needs to shower every day, try showering at night to free up some time in the morning.

Pay bills and bank online. Most banks now let you deposit checks online instead of having to do it in person. Plus, setting yourself up to pay bills online will save you both money on stamps and trips to the post office. Double whammy!

Purge. The more stuff you have in your home, the more cleaning, dusting and organizing you must do. If you have more than you need, it’s probably time for a garage sale or a big donation run to your local thrift store or the Good Will. Some organizations even offer free donation pickup services in certain areas.

Freeing up time in your daily life really can be this simple! Just remember: No household has ever fallen apart from parents’ consolidating tasks and cutting a few corners. Instead, happier, lower stress homes were created.

Kansas City mom Gina Klein is a writer and author who thrives on cutting as many corners in her day-to-day life as she can for her family’s sanity.

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